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Jacketh Offline
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Feel like my friends don't like me/don't care about me.. - March 5th 2014, 12:16 AM

Hey guys. I'm 17. I thought as you grew up things like this didn't matter. They clearly don't.

I see myself as a type of person who is reliant on other people to form my mood. It sounds crazy and I hate it, but if I'm out and getting invited places and have good bonds with friends, I sometimes feel brimming with confidence.

Sadly, that isn't often the case. I joined a new school in September and I've made some good friends. I bonded well with them and up to January they seemed genuinely interested in me and we were getting on well. I knew they were starting to like me.

Now, the interest is starting to fade. I just get the impression they talk about me behind my back. One of them decided to sit with this guy who he slags off constantly in class and move away from me. Which made me feel utter crap. They only seem to want to know me in school, I barely get an invite outside of school. I do hang around with them inside school, but I feel like a 'floater', where I'm just there. Existing.

I just feels like I can't put my trust in any of these people. I can't confide in anyone. I've got a few issues at the moment, I can't sleep hardly and I've been taking (legal) drugs. I just feel like I need someone there for me, but they aren't. They are genuinely nice people and have accepted the fact I'm Gay with no problem. I just feel like I'm in the wrong for not fitting it.

Sad thing is that its a common occurrence this. Forever making friends, then losing that bond and feeling down about it. It makes me feel utter, utter crap. I just can't seem to tie down a long term friendship. Its sad because I'm the type of person that needs that support. Its easy for me to be distracted and get down, I'm not independent and I hate not being so.

All this leads to me over-thinking, thinking about the legal drugs more, becoming unmotivated at school. It really does just suck.


“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
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Chris Offline
Outside, huh?
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Name: Chris
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Location: Illinios

Posts: 4,247
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Join Date: November 28th 2011

Re: Feel like my friends don't like me/don't care about me.. - March 5th 2014, 06:40 AM

Hi there, Jack.

I'm sorry to hear about this constant cycle you've been dealing with the past few years. This is a cycle, and cycles can be broken. Unfortunately during Junior High, High School, and sometimes the first few years of college you really have to find your group and yourself. It seems as if you found yourself, so now you need to find your group. I wish finding a group was as easy as meeting people and expecting them to stay with you forever, but unfortunately that's not the case. Finding the right group can take years and can involve alot of effort, time, loss friendships, and hurt feelings. I've been through countless groups in my lifetime, but once I feel excluded, or that I don't want to be in that group any longer, I'd leave it. Luckily my senior year I started my own group, and I've become best friends with them ever since.

My point here is clear: creating and maintaining the RIGHT friendship(s) is a trial and error process. It won't happen over night, and it does require a lot of time and effort. The best advice I can give to you is go with the flow. Continue hanging out with your current group, but if it begins to fade even more (i.e., severely deteriorate) then cut your losses and search for a new group (or new person). Push yourself to get involved: join clubs, groups, teams, volunteer, get a part-time job, etc. All these things will open up the door to new friendships.

Keep your head up and keep pushing on, my friend.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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