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Exclusion from my group of friends - March 12th 2014, 02:32 AM

Recently I've started to feel excluded and left out of the group of friends that I usually hangout with. I always feel the need to make the effort to strike up a conversation with them because I am never included in the conversation and have no clue of what they are talking about. I am funny, a good listener and am easy to talk to, but I dont understand their need to make me feel uncomfortable and excluded. My opinion is never valued and I feel neglected and forgotten. Even walking together in the corridor they walk away to talk to other people without telling me. I'm not a jealous person and dont mind them having other friends but i would really appreciate it if they have the decency to treat me like I'm there. This has made me unmotivated to go to school, to the extent of even hating the idea of waking up to go to school and be treated this way by my so called friends. What should I do? I am starting to feel a bit depressed and doubting my self-worth and what aspect of my behaviour repels them so much. Any advice?
   
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Re: Exclusion from my group of friends - March 12th 2014, 06:18 AM

If I were you, I'd pick the one friend out of them all that I feel the closest to and thoroughly explain your feelings. They could not notice that they're treating you badly, and if they are doing it on purpose, ask them why. I'm sorry your friends aren't appreciating you at the moment. I've felt that way before too.
   
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Re: Exclusion from my group of friends - March 12th 2014, 10:53 PM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp! =)

I'm sorry you're feeling excluded with your group of friends. I went through something similar when I was in middle school. I always felt like a "third wheel" - two of my new friends had known each other for several years, and I didn't believe they cared enough about me to include me in their conversations, after school plans, etc. I had two options: tell them how I felt, or find new friends. I ended up doing what the previous poster suggested first: I talked to the friend I felt closer to. She outright admitted that she cared more about the other friend, and that she was going to prioritize that friendship first. It hurt to hear that, but in a way, it also helped me "move on" without second-guessing myself, wondering if I had been "dramatic" in making the decision to find new friends. I ended up joining a fun club and made some good friends as a result. I still keep in touch with one of them 10 years later.

You're not going to "click" with everyone you meet, and that's okay! Rather than doubting yourself and wondering what's "wrong" with you, seek out friends who have similar interests and will treat you with respect. =)

It doesn't sound like you're doing anything to upset this group of friends; however, there's a small chance your actions are being misinterpreted, so before you decide to seek out new friends, I would follow the previous poster's suggestion of talking to the friend you feel closest to. Do your humorous antics come across as "annoying"? Do you appear to be "clingy"? "Boring"? Other people's perceptions aren't always accurate, but you may learn something about how you come across to other people. That could help you avoid certain behaviors in the future, if any of the behaviors you've demonstrated are actually problematic (again, not saying that's the case!).






   
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