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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Flower6.4 Offline
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Thumbs down i need help - March 22nd 2014, 07:39 PM

I not know what to do I feel like everyone hates me and the worst part is I don't know what I've done. I've literally just had this huge argument with this friend now everyone one in the groop is excluding me from the cinema and shopping trips and my mum is just making life harder for me she will rarely talk to me. Yet she spends all this time with my sisters and say how much she loves them and how proud she is. I know she's doing it purposely. I just feel like she's ripped out my heart and there's no way I'm gonna tell anyone anything. What should I do I feel so alone because I have no one.
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Chris Offline
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Name: Chris
Age: 25
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Re: i need help - March 23rd 2014, 01:53 AM

Hey, there.

I'm really sorry to hear about the situation you're in. The problem I see here is the lack of communication. Meaning, you need to communicate your feelings in a productive manner (i.e., talking not yelling, being clear, being open, etc) with your friends, and family so that misunderstandings don't occur. So for example, with your friends, you need to ask them if they are upset with you, and if so, why they are. Then, once they give you an answer(s) you need to create a plan of action (PoA) and start fixing the issues. Similarly with your family, you need to ask your mom why she does what she does (i.e., try to make you upset or thinks that her other children are "better"). If you don't ask but instead decide to assume, things will most likely get worse.

Communication is very necessary, and if you refuse to communicate then these issues will never get fixed.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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SpecterH Offline
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Name: Harvey S.
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Re: i need help - March 23rd 2014, 09:51 PM

Hi there,

I agree with Chris: there is a lack of communication here. I'm sorry that you're feeling the way you do. No one should feel that way, and it's extremely unfortunate.

I know it's tough, but you really need to talk to people about the way you're feeling. You will undoubtedly argue with even your best friend; this is unavoidable and is a part of life. Arguing is actually the sign of a healthy relationship. The best of friends are not two who never argue but, rather, are two who can argue and then work their issues out.

Therefore, I would suggest that you talk to your friend about what happened. There is no right or wrong in this situation, and it doesn't matter who was "right" and who was "wrong". The important thing is that you make up with your friend, if they are truly important to you (which seems to be the case). Communication is key here, and without this, you're just going to keep assuming and speculating about the whole situation - and there's nothing worse than that. Talk to your friend about the way you're feeling, and go from there.

With regards to your mom, I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I'm going to relay the same advice here: talk to her about the way you're feeling. Mothers tend to love their children a lot, and would be tremendously hurt if they found out that they were upsetting their children in any way. Perhaps she doesn't even realize her actions are bothering you. Again, speculating and assuming will only cause more harm than good; there's no use. Talk to your mom about the way you're feeling, and go from there.

Good luck, and I hope things start to improve.

Harvey Specter
Don't play the odds, play the man.
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