TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
haile-patterson Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
haile-patterson's Avatar
 
Name: haile patterson
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: weirton

Posts: 34
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 25th 2014

Thumbs down I need help - March 27th 2014, 01:02 PM

I am in a problem. I made a fake face book name and started one to talk to my friends and my boyfriend. I told one person and she was my best friend. She told my mom and she lied to me and said no i didn't. I talked to my parents and they said im grounded and they are treating me like im a prisoner. I told them everything they wanted to know and they dont care. I told them i really like this guy and never felt like this with anybody else. I asked my mom and she said she felt the same way about my dad. They don't care how we feel about each other. I hate how they won't listen and won't give my boyfriend a chance. they said if we continue dating or going behind my parents back my dad is going to arrest him and i told them if they do they can arrest me and dis own me.
Was that the right thing to do or what should i do??????
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,011
Blog Entries: 34
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: I need help - March 31st 2014, 02:10 AM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

Have your parents ever explained why they don't want you to date your boyfriend? Sometimes, parents will have explanations we don't agree with. In those cases, we can approach the situation in a few ways. One would be to try and reach a compromise. Another would be to go behind their backs, as you did by creating a fake Facebook account. Yet another would be to argue or beg for them to change their minds, which usually isn't effective. Finally, some teens will go to extremes by making threats ("I'll run away," "I'll never forgive you," "You might as well disown me," etc.), which definitely isn't productive.

This can be a learning experience for you, and things don't have to get worse. When you and your parents are all calm, try approaching the subject of dating again. Try to understand - REALLY understand - where your parents are coming from. What are their concerns? How can you reassure them nothing bad will happen if you date your boyfriend? If they're not convinced, what can you do to help them think about the situation differently in the future? You may need to demonstrate a higher level of maturity (that's frequently a reason why parents don't want their children to date), so think of tangible things you can do to show your parents you're working toward becoming a more mature daughter. If your parents have a problem with this specific boyfriend (but would be okay with you dating someone else), try to understand their concerns and think about how reasonable they're being (sometimes, parents and friends can see "warning signs" that we can't, so it's not a bad idea to give those opinions some weight!).

I wish you all the best. This sounds like a tricky situation, but with some time and calm conversation, I think you will be able to improve your relationship with your parents. It may be rocky at times (as is frequently the case during adolescence), but it can be better than it is now! =)






   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Chris Offline
Member
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Chris's Avatar
 
Name: Chris
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Location: Illinios

Posts: 4,247
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: November 28th 2011

Re: I need help - March 31st 2014, 02:13 AM

Hey, there.

Well I can't really talk about what's right and wrong because every family and group has a different set of values, morals, and restrictions that they live by. Based off of what you're telling me, it sounds like your family (i.e., parents) are very protective, and that they are trying to restrict what you do. However it's a very familiar tradition that the teens/kids rebel against their parents, which is what you're doing. The best advice I can give you is to do what you think best. Either you end the relationship with your boyfriend, or you keep it and risk punishment. Either way you will learn a lesson, and apply that in many different ways. Really, that's what being a teen is all about - learning, knowing, and growing to be an adult. Everyone makes mistakes, rebells, and learns many different lessons - however in the end it's how you apply the lessons that matter.

If I was in your position, I'd live by your parents rules until you're able to move out (i.e., when you're not a minor anymore). So in short, weigh all of your options and figure out what you want to do.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
haile-patterson Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
haile-patterson's Avatar
 
Name: haile patterson
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: weirton

Posts: 34
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 25th 2014

Re: I need help - March 31st 2014, 01:11 PM

Thanks for all the great advice and its helped me a lot. I am single now and I see why my parents didn't like my boyfriend. We have solved our problems
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,011
Blog Entries: 34
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: I need help - March 31st 2014, 05:43 PM

I'm glad to see this issue has been resolved! I'll go ahead and close your thread, but if you would like more support/advice for this issue, feel free to create a new thread, or contact me or Chris to have this thread re-opened. =)






   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.