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rsessel Offline
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Exclamation ultra-emotional friendship - May 3rd 2009, 01:35 AM

I have this friend, A, that I was really close with in High school. Last year, I started acting really weird , i think, so that i could get her attention.i pretended i was suicidal and i did crazy things out of jealousy. She made a few other friends last year and I was really jealous. once i began making up stories of how insane i was going i couldnt stop and because caught in my web of terror eventually creating problems in my head that never trully existed. We spoke about everything and i was really upset that she made new friends and forgot about me and i didnt know how to tell her. This thrid girl came to school and she became both of our friends. It was sort of the friendship war and then the summer hit. My friend graduated and she never called me or talked to me. i was SO attached to her that i cried and wrote her everyday. I couldnt live without her.... I felt like it was breakup with my boyfriend and I couldnt handle it. So i rean to pornography and maturbation to comfort myself. Now this year i returned to school and without my original friend i became close friends with the new girl of last year. She told me that my best friend had tried to kiss her and that my precious best friend betrayed me to her. I lost all trust in my old friend and believed that she was physically attracted to me. i couldnt believe that i was so vulnerable and didnt realize that she was the source of the pains in my last few years of high school. Realizing that i may be the victim of her love for girls beacuse we had held hands often and hugged a lot and she always slept over and encouraged me to sleep with her. So i tried to drop the realtionship altogether and it has been an emotionally difficult year. I have never lost the want to be with her and be her friend because she really was the only friend i ever had. So i started to talk to her again this week. At first i was upset each time i spoke to her but then i decided to explain a bit of my fear... I did and she apoligized and said she never meant it. So we began anew and i was really ready to have a friend... i really wated love. today i started to get this feeling that i was becoming obsessed with her and that i coudnt leave her ever again. I just wanted to cuddle next to her and love her. I want her love. i dont know what to do and if that is normal for a best friend?? Please help me....

Last edited by rsessel; May 3rd 2009 at 02:15 PM.
   
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Strider Offline
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Re: ultra-emotional friendship - May 3rd 2009, 11:02 PM

Hi Rsessel,

It is normal to care about your friend and be close to her, but do realize that everyone needs their space. Also, if she has hurt you in the past, that you may want to consider whether or not this will happen again. If you think that your friend is using you, then you need to make more space between the two of you and think over your friendship.

Obsessing over your friend is not a good idea. Being close, trusting her, feeling comfortable, and communicating with her is a good thing. But understand that some people are flexible and change. If changes happen in the future, you need to prepare yourself for that and be able to cope with it. Having friends is important, but if her interests change, then being so closely attached isn't a good idea. She may need some personal space too.

Just be careful. Talking to one another about how you feel might help.

Nat.


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