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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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brigette Offline
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How close you are to your mom? - April 22nd 2014, 01:36 AM

My mom and I are not that close with each other. I can't tell my deepest secrets to her because I'm afraid that she won't understand them or some may bring worry on her part. Share us how's your relationship to your mother is going now.
   
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Re: How close you are to your mom? - April 22nd 2014, 01:56 AM

I know you may not want your mom to worry, but remember that I think she'd rather worry about you and have you explain a bit about what she may not understand than see that you're struggling! In general, though, I'm really sorry that you're not that close to your mom. Perhaps you can try spending time together to bond more?

I don't really tell my mom my deepest secrets either, though. I've tried, but she's stuck in her mindset, no matter how it's been explained or who has explained it. But we do like spending time together and I do tell her less deep things.


   
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Re: How close you are to your mom? - April 22nd 2014, 09:55 AM

My mum and I are pretty close, but I don't tell her my deepest secrets either. She's not a particularly open-minded person who really won't change how she thinks no matter what In say, and we often have differences in opinion because of it as I am completely the opposite. We do discuss a lot of things openly though, generally about nobody specific, so I'm able to talk to her in the respect

I think that you need to realise that mothers are always going to worry about you, regardless of whether or not you give her a reason to. Admittedly it might make her worry more, but if there's something going in your life you need to put yourself first and talk to her without worrying about how much she is going to be worrying about you; that's why mothers are for.

Perhaps you could try and broach the subjects generally and see what her thoughts are before you fell her the specifics!?


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Re: How close you are to your mom? - April 22nd 2014, 12:59 PM

My mom and I are close and we've gotten closer as I have let her into my life. There are a few things that I won't tell her; but I want to work on communicating more to give her a greater understanding. Mother's always worry, no matter what because you are their child and they want to see you grow up, be happy and successful in life.

As Dez said, maybe the two o you can do something fun together, like hiking or watching a movie so you get to be with her for a while.


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Re: How close you are to your mom? - April 22nd 2014, 04:32 PM

Since my nan died 2 years ago my mum and I have grown closer. There are however, problems with our mother-daughter relationship due to the fact she has had a bad past and so have I. This puts a huge bridge between us sometimes. Other times I know I can rely on my mum for a lot of things. She's there when I need a hug, support, some love and attention. I wouldn't say she's there when I've needed her the most, but she has been there when I've needed her on a few occasions.


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Re: How close you are to your mom? - April 22nd 2014, 04:45 PM

Everyone's relationship with their parents is very different. I have friends who absolutely cannot stand their mothers, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, I also have friends who cannot do anything without their mothers.

For me, I'd say that I'm very close with my mom. Even though I go to university a few hours away from home, my mom tends to call me quite often (once a day, usually). We talk a lot, and spend as much time together as possible. My family still has dinner together, so I suppose that plays a large role in why I'm so close to both of my parents as well.


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Re: How close you are to your mom? - April 22nd 2014, 09:43 PM

I try avoiding my mom. We talk and can get along fine, but she usually makes me feel bad about myself so I just try staying away.
   
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Re: How close you are to your mom? - April 29th 2014, 03:25 AM

Relationships with parents can be difficult. Mom's do worry about their children because they care, it's natural and I'm sure she'd appreciate the fact that you're opening up to her. Communication is really important and would help you and your mom be closer if you let her in on your feelings. You should try telling her stuff that you wouldn't normally tell her, even just small things at first to ease into being more open and trusting.
   
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Re: How close you are to your mom? - April 29th 2014, 04:31 AM

Because of my autism I'm not close with my mom as far as telling stuff and things like that. She's a very good mom at looking after me and always knows what I need and she's good at calming me and making me feel safe. And is fun to be with most of the time.


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Re: How close you are to your mom? - April 29th 2014, 04:38 AM

My mom and I have very similar personalities so I'd say we're practically best friends. I don't tell her my "deep and dark" secrets, but she knows everything else. When anything happens good or bad, she's the first person I run to because she can make me feel better if not help me deal with whatever happened.


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Re: How close you are to your mom? - May 5th 2014, 03:24 AM

Hey, there.

I can most certainly understand we're you're coming from Brigette. I see a lot of similar comments made about parents in general of not wanting to make them worry or being afraid that they won't understand (or will over/under react). So don't think you're alone with that feeling, because many teen to parent relationships are sharing common issues.

As for my mother and I, we've never been close. Actually, we really only talk a few times a month. Our lives, morals, values, and personalities take much different routes, and we rarely (if ever) agree on things. She herself has suffered some very serious past issues, which has had influence on my whole family. However, on the other hand, my father and I are very close and share almost everything together.

You'll find that every person has a different connection and relationship with their parent(s). Some view them as best friends, friends, parents, strangers, and many other things. Some people can open up to their parents, and some can't. Some people can be in the same room as their parents, and some can't. If you really think about it, I would say a relationship with a parent (being either positive, negative or both) is a very interesting topic to look into; it's never steadily define-able.


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Re: How close you are to your mom? - May 5th 2014, 04:04 AM

My relationship with my mom is eh. I love her, but I really don't trust her enough to tell her how I'm feeling, or what's going on. She cares about how people perceive our family then feelings. I've tried to talk to her, but she brushes me off and tells me to smile. What goes on behind closed doors remains a secret, when you're out in public you are representing our family and I expect nothing but perfection as she tells us. Don't get me wrong. I love her, and I don't mind spending time together like shopping or manicures etc but I'm not close to her. At all.
   
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Re: How close you are to your mom? - May 5th 2014, 11:22 AM

My mum suffers from bipolar depression so she takes her darker sides out on me and has done for years, social services have been involved and police etc. We don't get on at all but I wouldn't wish anything bad upon her, or anybody.
   
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