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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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how should I interact with my mom when she gets out of jail? What questions should I - April 30th 2014, 04:54 AM

my mom will return from jail in june after serving a six month sentence for a financial crime and I am her 14 year old daughter. I am glad she is coming home but also isn't kind of weird now that now she is a criminal that went to jail and she will order me around? I mean isn't that kind of hypocritical (kind of funny as well since she was being ordered around for the past five months). Part of me wants to do something nice for her when she comes back but part of me doesn't. Anyone have any experience with this? I won't use it against her but I think I will definitely poke some fun at her about it


also, while I have visited her and talked to her on the phone, we talked about me usually. I am thinking of asking her some questions about what it is like to be inside. I wonder what I should ask


is it weird me and my younger brother who is 12 are acting casual about this right now. In the beginning when she was first arrested it was scary but now that she has been sentenced for six months, restitution has been payed and my mom isn't even going to lose her job or anything (though I hear
She is going to be watched and checked on for some time). Now we are calm and not scared at all . And we think it is kind of funny of course and can't help but poke some fun at her about it ( about things like being bossed around, wearing a uniform, the food) and she doesn't mind and is very self deprecating about all this.
   
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Re: how should I interact with my mom when she gets out of jail? What questions should I - April 30th 2014, 11:56 AM

Hi.
You should be kind to you mom.She hasnt done a much big crime afterall.She will need you support and you must provide it to her.
There nothing weird about it.
   
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Re: how should I interact with my mom when she gets out of jail? What questions should I - May 5th 2014, 03:55 AM

Hi there.

We all make mistakes, and we don't always follow the rules. When such cases come about, we take the consequences that follow, pay our dues, and then move on. Once she gets out, she will have the opportunity to redeem herself and start anew. Meaning, though she made a mistake in the past, that doesn't define her or make her a lifelong "criminal". Ultimately she's a citizen and a mother, both of which she should be treated like.

Will this transition be a weird and unusual one? Yes. Will this have a long-term, permanent, or negative effect on the your relationship with her? Only if you let it. What would I do? I would go about your relationship in a positive way. At first it might be ok to joke around with her about the crime/mistake, though after awhile you should move on from the jokes so that SHE can officially move on as well. Things might be "awkward" at first, but continue to think of her as your mother (which she is), continue to build the relationship up, and you'll find that things will naturally go in the right direction.


Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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