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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
simonaaaaa Offline
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My mother is stressing me out - May 8th 2014, 08:31 PM

Hi, im going to skip the whole long intro as that may bore you, but here are the main facts; i'm female and 14 years old.
Well this is me ranting about my mum, i know the things i will say here are sometimes going to be rude but im writing of the brink of exploding out of anger right now, so please bear with me.
Ever since i had a sister (7 years old)my relationship with my mum has spiraled down drastically, even more the last 2-3 years when it was pretty much non existent.
Now these things are coming back and she's starting to really annoy me, i mean i dont usually write these type of things down, i just block my feeling out and internally scream. But now i just have come to the point where i have had dreams of running away and never seeing my mother again, and being happy because of it.
Im going to give you some examples of what my mother does (now i know these seem really stupid and pointless but these little things add up to the point where i dread going home)
So i was sitting in my room after i got home from school, and i was watching a movie on the computer. i started doing homework after it ended. My mom and sister come in after their club and my sister comes into the room and says " we bought cake for the party btw" in this really annoyingly smug voice. i despise my sister so much i cant bear to be near her, bu im guessing thats just sibling rivalry for you. And i reply a simple "okay" but as i was chewing i said it about 1 minute later. A second later my mum is telling me how i should at least act like i have a life and now to sound so depressed, i stay silent as i just cannot be asked to argue. This apparently is the que to go on the never ending story; she starts shouting at me for being so rude to everyone in the famly saying that ui think everyone needs to kneel down for me, and how even your sister has more manners than you and blah blah blah and then she goes on about how my table is always messy (there is a spoon and a empty yourgurt pot on the table) and how she tells me a million times to put it away which i then mention that i just got it and how could she of already told me a million times, then she goes on saying how i cant talk back and how rude and selfish i am only thinking about yourself. Then she starks complaining about how the fairy lights on my bed are "tangled" so i untangle them and then she spots my bathrobe in my bed and starts shouting because i just only changed the sheets and how the clothing is dirty ( i sleep with it on because it is freezing and she refuses to turn the heating on at night even though my room is the coldest in the house) and how im so dirty and stuff. then while going out the door she starts complaining about the sign that says "do not enter" and how i should take it off. i put that there because i was revising and my family thought it would be perfect to fricken march in and out of my room every two second to get something or do something (thoses things being like getting a tisssue, when there are effing tissue sall over the eeffing house!!!!) and about how irresponsible i am that i do these things and thats why i got lost on my way to my job interview ; i had never been in that area, i had a picture of a map and no wifi no navigation to get to a place that i havent even seen what it looked like because no one in my family could take me. urghhhh when i talk she says for me not to backchat and when i stay quiet she like " am i talking to a brick wall here" or " reply to me, stop acting like a depressed corpse" URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
btw that was only 2 hours of my life, im dreading the next 2 allready.
i just dont understand why she picks on the smallest things to complain about and causes such a havoc where i just want to repeatedly slap her.
and my sister is such a suck up so she always compares me to her and then when i do she uses the excuse " shes 7 years younger than you"
I JUST WANT HER TO STOP PICKING ON EVERYTHING I DO and find someone else to release her anger at whatever she is angry at not at me.
talking to her is not a option i wish to take, i will just end up screaming and walking away as she starts listing every imperfection that i have ever had.
i just feel like im the only one who knows what its like to have such a crappy relationship with your mum that you just want her to be removed from your life at home.
P.s i know that many people have it much worse, and i am truelly sorry for there situations but i would like to deal with my current one first...
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Lanabella Offline
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Re: My mother is stressing me out - May 16th 2014, 09:59 PM

Hey just to let you know you are not alone! I am 18 now and I remember being 14 and in a similar boat. I remember wishing the years to go by so I could be independent. Now I am relatively and Im still not fully free of my mothers damaging behaviour. It is now your responsability to be a good person your mother may never change you will always have your ups and downs with her just make sure you dont do things that will falsely display your personality. Stay good and keep confiding and looking for advise from the right places It will get much better. focus on your school!
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Kalina Offline
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Re: My mother is stressing me out - May 17th 2014, 10:58 PM

Hey, you're not alone! I'm 17, and you're story sounds exactly like what was happening to me a couple of years ago.It was so bad because I didn't want to go to school but I didn't want to be at home. I was completely lost. I wanted to run away and never come back. I despised living in my house. The only thing that helped me was concentrating on my school work. Believing in myself and knowing that I was doing this for myself helped me. Also talking to a close friend or someone at school helped too because it gets things off your chest. It's easy for people to say "don't let it get to you" but they don't understand the feeling unless they've had a similar experience. Instead of saying that, I'm saying to focus on other things that are important to you. You can't change her but you can change yourself. I don't know but when my mum saw that I was focused on other things and didn't care much for her attitude towards me anymore, things started to get a little better and she stopped being so slack towards me. I hope things will get better for you!
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