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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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lilygirl Offline
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Unhappy My stepdad hates me - May 11th 2014, 07:01 PM

Okay, I know that my stepdad probably doesn't actually hate me. I think he means the best for me, and wants to help "form me into the best person I can be" and things like that, but I don't think he knows how much it hurts me. He always says that everyone makes mistakes, yet every time I make one, he yells at me like I did something really bad. Even if it's just something small, like being home two minutes late, he'll call me names and swear at me, and tell me I'm pathetic when I don't respond.
The thing is, though, I can't respond. No matter how hard I try, I get scared and I feel my throat tighten up, and I physically can't say anything. My stepdad is really tall and strong, and really loud when he yells, and it scares me because I'm afraid he's going to hurt me. He's never even done anything, but his words hurt as much as any punch he could throw.
There was also one time, when I just got home from a friend's house, and my dad saw red lines on my arm. I didn't cut myself, it was from my friend testing an old red pen on me. When my stepdad saw the lines, he laughed and said, "Hey (my mom's name), come here! Looks like we have a cutter on our hands!" And my mom came running down the stairs. She looked really concerned, but my dad just kept laughing at me and telling me I was pathetic and that I should've cut a little deeper so it could've at least done some good. I was on the verge of tears since I realized that he really didn't care, but I explained to him that it was red pen. He examined it and said, "good, you're not as stupid as I thought you were."
I really don't know what to do. Every time my stepdad yells at me, I just feel like it's true, and that I deserve it, even when my mom tells me that he doesn't mean it. I've been living with my step dad since I was four, and every time he gets angry, I hate myself more and more. I don't know how I can fix it, because I want to stop making him mad. I would really appreciate some advice, since I can't talk to my mom about it in fear of her telling my stepdad.
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Azure. Offline
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Re: My stepdad hates me - May 25th 2014, 02:10 AM

Hey there! Sorry for such a late response!

First of all, what he says to you isn't your fault. Ever. He sounds pretty emotionally abusive to me and you don't deserve to be treated like that at all. Have you thought about telling someone about your situation? You could have a serious talk with your mom and ask her to keep what you say private from your stepdad. I think it's also a good idea to get outside help, especially if you feel like you can't talk to anyone at home. A school counselor, a coach, a teacher, a friend's parent, or anyone else that you can think of are good people to go to. You shouldn't have to live like this and reaching out can give you and your family support and help.

It's also a good idea to get out your emotions and feelings. Journals and art can be nice outlets. Sports and exercise are also good to get out of the house and get rid of some stress! Do you have a trusted friend that you could talk to? It might be nice to be able to go to someone who cares about you and talk about what you're going through. If you don't, you're always welcome to rant on the site too.

I hope this helped a little and I wish you the best.

Find your light in a new dawn.

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