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please halp me - May 24th 2014, 09:04 PM

I'm so angrey at myself for being so stupid I've ruined my parents life by simply being born and they have told me that. I'm not good enough to be who they want me to be and compared to my siblings I'm nothing, they hate me anyway, I don't know what to do I try so hard at everything and I'm never good enough. I don't even know to be I just hide behind a mask all the time. I'm so afraid of messing up. What should I do. I feel so lost and alone because no one even knows me and I'm afraid they're hate me like my parents do. I can't live like this anymore!

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Re: please halp me - May 26th 2014, 04:14 AM

Hey there!

I'm really sorry you're having a hard time. Let me just say that what your parents have said isn't true and you really don't deserve to have them tell you that. You're uniquely you and you shouldn't compare yourself. Everyone's special in their own ways, so are you. You are not "nothing". You deserve people around you who appreciate you for who you are, and to find those people requires you to be who you are. Everyone messes up, but in a way, mistakes are a good thing because they help us learn and do better next time. No one is perfect.

Have you told your parents how much their words hurt you and about how you try so hard to be better? Maybe they'll see how much you're hurting and change their ways. As for your siblings, do you think it'd help to try and be closer to them? Like bonding in a sport, hobby, gaming, anything both of you are interested in. Do you have any friends you can talk to and start trying to be yourself with? Sometimes it helps to have some support in your life.

Hope I helped a bit. You can message me if you need someone to talk to. I don't mind listening.
Stay strong, everything will be okay. The hard things you're going through, this isn't all life is, things do improve. You can do this.
   
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Re: please halp me - May 26th 2014, 05:04 AM

Hey there,

I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way. I think that just about everyone can relate to feeling insecure or scared to be themselves. I'm definitely familiar with feeling that way myself and I know how difficult it can be. Sometimes it feels like it's impossible to meet all of the standards you're held to, whether they're your parent's standards or the standards of society. It's easy to feel like you're not enough, but I can promise you that you are.

Everyone has something special to offer. You might be lacking in certain areas, sure. Maybe you're not so good in certain subjects at school, or you don't look exactly how you want to. But maybe you're also a really great friend, or you do really well in other subjects. Maybe you're shyer than you want to be, but maybe you also have a really great sense of humor. Nobody is completely perfect. We all have our flaws, but we all have great qualities too, and both tend to balance each other out. You might be just average at some things, but extraordinary at others. You might mess up in certain areas of your life, but really excel in the other areas. You're never going to be flawless. But you have a choice; you can choose to dwell on and feel insecure about your flaws, or you can be proud and confident in the good qualities you possess. The choice is always yours.

Maybe some people in your life focus too much on your flaws. But that doesn't mean you have to. Make a list, whether you write it out on paper or just form it in your mind, of the things that you like about yourself. When someone points out one of your flaws or somehow makes you feel like you're not good enough, refer to that list. And know that while you might be flawed there are still things about you that are totally perfect.

I think that sometimes parents don't really realize how much their criticisms affect us. They want us to be successful in life and sometimes they push us too hard or concentrate more on what we can improve than what we're doing well. I think the best thing you can do is talk to your parents and let them know that the things they say bother you. Hopefully they'll try their best to treat you more fairly as a result.

No matter what, though, the most important thing is that you remain confident in yourself. There's no guarantee that everyone will always be accepting of who you are, but if you can truly accept yourself then other's opinions won't hold as much weight. It feels great to have the approval of others, but it feels much greater to truly love and approve of yourself. If you can do that you'll find a lot more happiness throughout your life, guaranteed.

I really hope that things start to improve for you soon. Feel free to message me if you ever need to talk. Hang in there


   
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