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Name: Bree
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LONG! Sort of rant....Advice please?? - June 5th 2014, 05:51 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My whole life, my father has been emotionally abusive. I used to think, that because he didn't physically abuse me, it wasn't real abuse, and he was just being a parent. But I know that my emotional scars weren't caused because he was 'parenting.' The same goes with my mom. My dad is very.....materialistic. He cared about his own appearances, and because he would look bad if I looked bad, he cared about mine as well. Gives me money to keep my mouth shut and look pretty. Screams at me when I mess up or my grades are bad. My mom is a bit different. We were connected like two peas in a pod. Told each other everything. Because of that, our roles got muddled, and most of my life I have been a parent to my siblings. But recently, since my moms wife (my parents are divorced now) she has turned into someone else. A hypocrite, for one. She yells at everyone else for being lazy yet she doesn't do anything. She sits on the couch, and sleeps, watches TV , and eats. Part of it, is her pain, which I understand. But there is no need to make herself a hypocrite. Then, she has been in an abusive relationship for the past two years. Now, at that point, we were still telling each other many things. She was hurting, so I was hurting. But, after so many betrayals on her part, I have detached myself from her. I am tired.....so tired, of this. Being her doormat. Not just me but everyone in the house. I know I make mistakes, but she treats everyone terribly. I don't know what to do. I can't force her to stop. I can't leave her house. But I don't want to go though 3 more years of this. I will die, I will be dead inside. I don't want to be like her, or my father. I don't want to be angry or hurt anymore. But HOW do you FORGIVE someone for something they STILL DO!!!! She is too lazy to get a therapy appointment! My dad doesn't believe in therapy, he is completely shut down on his feelings. This is effecting my mental health. The past 2 years I have had more suicidal thoughts I would like to admit. In fact, I attempted, last year. This is not okay. I do NOT want to die. I want to be happy. But how can I get better if,specifically my mom refuses to do anything. I HAVE talked to her. MANY MANY MANY times!!! Cried, begged, pleaded, yelled, and she says she will work on it. She has 'worked on it' for 7 years. She does not care. She doesn't care if I self harm, or drink or smoke weed, it does NOT matter. The only time she cared was when I was drunk on the floor telling her how I wanted to kill myself. And now, a month or two later, she is the same, worse even. No therapy. I don't know what to do. I've tried disconnecting from her, but everything I try doesn't get to her. She is the adult, and she gets to treat us like this because of it. I will not live with my dad because he is in another state. I want to stay at my school, I am tired of moving around. I can't live with other family. I can't get emancipated because I've already tried and my mom threatened that she'd do anything she could to stop me. It's like she hates me, and lives to make my life as difficult as she possibly can. To be as annoying, and insensitive as possible. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!

If it is meant to be, it will be.
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Re: LONG! Sort of rant....Advice please?? - June 5th 2014, 10:54 PM

Sometimes it takes a long time to change your life style and maybe your Mum is struggling because of the way her relationship was with your Dad. Tell her how to feel without getting upset or angry, write it down if you can't talk. Let her know that you want advice about the emotional abuse that you have suffered and ask her if you can see a doctor or therapist together. Talking to a professional that you don't know will allow you to say everything without missing certain things out.
Your parents do care about you, you just need to stay as positive as you can. Make sure to tell them every day how much you appreciate and love them even if it doesn't feel like it. Show them that you care by looking after your siblings and doing extra chores but also tell them that you feel like the adult sometimes and you don't like the pressure that is put on you when you are stressed about exams and grades. Try to keep your personal life separate from your school life because the stress will effect your grades, maybe talk to a close friend or adult that you trust at school and they will be able to give you more advice
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long, rantadvice, sort

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