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acting101 Offline
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A bit of a rant. - June 8th 2014, 03:18 AM

I'm so so awful at making good friends.

My entire life I've struggled to make connections with people. In elementary school I was bullied and thrown from friend group to friend group until by the time I got to grade 7 and 8 I had no one, and could only hang out with my worst bullies because no one else cared to talk to me.

In high school, I was again tossed from friend group to friend group. Every time I would get close with people, they would just stop talking to me outside of school and not invite me to gatherings and parties and stuff and would make excuses as to why I wasn't invited. By the end of Grade 11 I finally became friends with some people who I thought really cared about me, but again, they wouldn't talk to me outside of school and would give stupid excuses as to why I wasn't invited to things. Once school was gone, none of them ever tried to speak to me again, despite me despearately trying to keep what we had going.

Through my 2 years of college/university as well, no one's tried to make ties with me. I made some good friends my first year, but I ended up switching schools and none of them talk to me anymore really. I go and visit sometimes, but other than that we don't converse.

And this previous year at college... I've made tons of friends, but I can't seem to make more personal connections with anyone. The only person I text now is my mother, and no one tries to talk to me to see what I'm up to or anything. And when I try to reach out to other people, they're not that interested in me.

Just a few minutes ago my friends that I had at the end of high school posted on facebook pictures of a reunion they had, and of course, no one talked to me about it. I haven't talked to a lot of them in a year now so that friendship's dead and gone, but it still really hurts that they meant so much to me and now they don't even care to see me anymore.

I've shared these concerns of mine with my mum and she tells me not to worry and that I'll meet people in another college program that I'm starting in September, and I'll be with the same people for 3 years... but I was with the same people in high school for 4 years (small school so everyone knew everyone), but nobody cared about me then so I don't know why people would care now. I'm just really scared of not making any good friends ever. I'm really tired of being alone.
   
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Re: A bit of a rant. - June 8th 2014, 01:22 PM

Hi,

I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't want to be friends with you, because you seem like a really nice person. In my opinion, it is their own fault and they don't know what they're missing out on. Bullying is painful and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I believe that what comes around goes around and if they haven't already, they will eventually get theirs. People who bully others don't do it for no reason, there's usually an underlying problem that causes them to lash out on others and unfortunately everyone involved is hurt in some way.

High school can be awkward because everyone is trying to find out who they are and what they want to do in their lives. I think it's great that you made the effort to keep your friendships going through all of this time. I think as you get older, you'll be able to make stronger friendships because people change and mature with age. And with college, people generally want to be there and it's a decent learning environment; you might be able to find some people with the same interests as you.


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