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Rose Weaver Offline
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Age: 19
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Question Expectations... - August 11th 2014, 01:41 PM

So... I'm new to this and don't know how much to share, or what's reasonable. I guess with the topic... Expectations. I'm the middle child of 5 and I'm recently finding it hard to hold myself together. The pressure of 'exceeding' in school is weighing on my chest. My older siblings have quit high school and throughout my childhood I've been 'the good one'. But the expectations is growing and I don't know how to deal with it. Along with that I'm constantly watching over my currently ill mum, absent dad and little sisters. I have a feeling Im falling back on my education, due to be distract from other things... and I have my whole family relying on me. Especially since recently loosing my cousin, grief and guilt has been clouding my head. Worst fear, is disappointing the ones that mean the world to me. What do I do??
   
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Re: Expectations... - August 11th 2014, 02:22 PM

Good evening, my name is Hamed Khatiz and I am a nineteen year old student, but I am also a volunteer here. Firstly, a massive welcome to the site from me and the team, I honestly hope you find the resources that you need here and I thank you for trusting us enough to come down here and ask for some assistance from us .

Now, I will give you some very easy tips for me to come up with, they are not going to be easy to implement and believe in, but they can be very easy to identify, the solutions that is.

This might have gone to keeper but it didn't miss me, you said you recently had a death somewhere in your life? Firstly, you need to give yourself time to grieve the loss of your cousin. Obviously that us going to take some time and I recommend you have a quick look at out dedicated forum to Death and Grieving here.

http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f19-death-grieving/

I remember this quote from author John Green, once someone died who was important to his life he said "don't do something. Just stand there".

I mean we all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to find some sort of silver lining, but there is real value in allowing yourself to grieve, allowing yourself to think about the life your cousin has left behind and also allowing yourself to be transformed by it.

Until you do that, you are doing yourself a massive injustice by trying to continue on studying solely. If you feel you are not ready to properly return to study, you need to engage in some steps to help make the grieving process much easier.

These include maybe writing a letter to your cousin or seeking some treatment and therapy with a councellor, which just means talking about it with someone who can properly help you through it.

That's the first the you need to do.

The second thing that might help you is getting some academic assistance with the school you work with. Money schools have after hours and unusual hours tutorials for certain subjects and they also have learning centres where you can go and get someone to read your assignment and give you some feedback or do something else of the sort.

I live in Australia (hence the "through to the keeper" reference, that's from the lovely world of cricket) and not..... Australia? Oh heavens, you are officially cool. But in any case, I don't know what your particular school offers in relation to some support services, but that's something you might be able to speak to your coordinator or teacher about.

The bottom line is, schools know they are working with young people and they know the challenges many young people face, so many schools have some degree of support there, and I would imagine they would be very welcoming and encouraging for that support, it's their job.

I think you can find solace in getting some assistance with relation to the recovery from the death of your cousin, which means allowing yourself time to grieve and seeking treatment and also getting some help within school academically.

Good luck and frankly, nothing is worse than the death of someone you love so if you can face this, you can pretty much trudge through anything life tends to chuck at you. Be the keeper .

.

Feel free to speak to me or any of the guys if you need anything else, including someone to talk to or someone to help you with the features of the site. Maybe someone to help you run away from zombies. ~innocuously points to himself~ .


“At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place,
But believe that there is much more good in it than bad.
All you have to do is look hard enough,
And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.”

~My Childhood Friend.
   
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