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Quarel Offline
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How to Provide Emotional Support? - September 9th 2014, 01:02 AM

Hello,
I've always had the tendancy to think about my feelings rather than feeling them. This has brought episodes of repression because I kept a layer of intellectualism between me and my feelings. Now, because of my tendancy to intellectualize emotion, I've never been great at emotional support.

I've worked on emotional support through physical touch. That is to say hugging, or holding a hand, hand on a shoulder. Or something along these lines. But I'm simply not very comfortable with physical contact, and people feel that. So, naturally they don't feel more comfortable.

I've also worked on emotional support through the simple act of listening, but I often catch myself trying to give advice on things that I don't understand. Or over-intellectualizing their emotions via psycho-analysis. But what I realize is that most people already know intelectually where their feelings come from. At least, they have an idea. But knowing does not mean dealing with.

I can know that I shouldn't feel a certain way because of X reasons, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel them. So, what are your tips on emotional support?

Thanks,
Quarel
   
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Re: How to Provide Emotional Support? - September 9th 2014, 08:10 PM

Hi

I use not know how to act when people seek support from me. But I eventually learned.. That if you just let them rant or vent or whatever.. Listen to him/her and kinda validate.. Like Yea I understand that, that must suck, I'm sorry to hear,etc. Even a head nod is good enough

Another is just let them speak to you when they are ready! Its extremely hard to be pushed around to talk about some hard stuff.. If they don't wanna talk about.. They don't wanna talk about it.. Then if they don't want to. Just like check in with him/her every now and then like ask how are they doing? Is everything okay? Etc. Sometimes when something just happens that's hard they kinda want to be alone for awhile and that's totally normal. So don't feel bad if they don't want to talk. The only time I would think to let them be silent is a bad idea is when their life could be at risk or in danger. Then you should get an adult involve even when they don't want to be like that cause it could be in a life or death situation.

Keep reminding them you are here for them and stuff so they know they can have someone to talk to.

Just when you give advice make sure its positive and try not to judge cause that's what the least they want. (We all judge so its okay to but don't make it obvious) and don't over react cause that can make it worse to.

Its great to want to give support to others and its a really nice thing to do.. But if you are not comfortable then they aren't comfortable. So if physical touch makes you uncomfortable then don't do it. If you have any further questions feel free to PM/VM me anytime
   
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Re: How to Provide Emotional Support? - September 10th 2014, 10:36 AM

Thank you for the tips. I'll make sure to try them out when an opportunity comes up to use them.
   
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