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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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angel5087 Offline
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Parent Problems - October 21st 2014, 08:01 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have a lot of problems with my parents lately. I know most teens do, but, Its definitely worse than the average situation. Theres no going back on the damage thats been done. But, I have to deal with them 'till I'm 18. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna make it that far. Being 100 percent honest, I've even considered suicide just so I can get away from them. How can I stay strong until I'm 18, when everyday its like waking up and walking straight into hell?
   
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Re: Parent Problems - October 22nd 2014, 02:52 AM

Hi again, Angel!

What sort of problems are you having with your parents, exactly? Maybe if we knew a bit more, we could all give you more helpful advice.
   
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Re: Parent Problems - October 22nd 2014, 03:07 AM

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Hi again, Angel!

What sort of problems are you having with your parents, exactly? Maybe if we knew a bit more, we could all give you more helpful advice.
Well, a lot, actually. They never really listen or talk to me. What little I do hear is lies and manipulation. They use my emotions against me to make me feel like i'm the one that's causing all the problems. We actually just had a fight like this a few hours ago. I feel like I'm practically raising myself. They buy me stuff all the time, and my life looks great to the average outsider, but they never give me any attention, which no electronics or clothes or games can make up for.
   
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Re: Parent Problems - October 22nd 2014, 03:14 AM

Its hard to give a good response without knowing the details about what exactly is bad that they do? Im only a little bit older than you and my parents frusterate me so much too. Im always compared to my older sister whose very successful, and they want me to do everything perfect. Best advice I can give you from the information I have is just to learn to not give a shit. My parents will go off on me and just keep goin and goin and I've just learned to zone out. I dont know what your parents are doing exactly to you but when theyre yelling or something just start thinking about something else. Dont even listen, unless of course its for your own saftey or something.
But if you give me some more details about your problem I think I'd be able to help you more.
but good luck
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Re: Parent Problems - October 22nd 2014, 03:32 AM

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I Im always compared to my older sister
THIS! My two older sister grew up to be not that great, although I highly believe it is a result of the mental damage they do. However, my parents have even admitted to me that they gave up on me because of what my older sisters have done. I believe that is part of the problem.

I guess the main problem is that they don't take care of me emotionally. I have more than I need physically, but mentally and emotionally I've been running on empty for years. Its not just with the not ever giving me attention thing. They don't let me socialize. They don't take me to therapists when I ask to because I need help for things. They are good parent in the sense they don't hit me, give me food, water, shelter, that stuff, but emotionally they just don't care.
   
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Re: Parent Problems - October 22nd 2014, 04:12 AM

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Originally Posted by angel5087 View Post
THIS! My two older sister grew up to be not that great, although I highly believe it is a result of the mental damage they do. However, my parents have even admitted to me that they gave up on me because of what my older sisters have done. I believe that is part of the problem.

I guess the main problem is that they don't take care of me emotionally. I have more than I need physically, but mentally and emotionally I've been running on empty for years. Its not just with the not ever giving me attention thing. They don't let me socialize. They don't take me to therapists when I ask to because I need help for things. They are good parent in the sense they don't hit me, give me food, water, shelter, that stuff, but emotionally they just don't care.
You sound exactly like I did when I was your age. So, I'm going to tell you what I'd tell a younger me if I could.

The first thing is this: Whatever situation you're in? It's temporary. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I.e., it's overkill. Entertaining thoughts of suicide isn't productive. If you sit back and think to yourself: "Oh, woe is me, I have no way to get out," you'll never find a way out.

It may seem like your parents don't care. After all, they probably don't let you socialize with people outside school (I figure that's what you're meaning), they don't take you to therapists, they never pay attention to you (unless they're scolding you about something, that is). Maybe your parents don't care.

The thing is: It doesn't matter if they don't care about you. If they compare you to your older sisters? Let them. Love yourself. Believe in yourself. It doesn't matter what they think of you. If they think you're the scourge of the earth, it doesn't matter. Why? Because if you love yourself, and believe in yourself, and trust yourself to live a gorgeous life, then you don't need their opinion of you.

You've got clothes, you've got food. You've got a place to lay your head down at night. Your parents don't hit you. Maybe they ignore you, but you're a strong person. Judging by your posts here, you're intelligent, too. You have lots of potential.

Don't waste it all just because two people don't believe in you. There will be plenty who will.





(And by believe in you, I mean believe that you can succeed beyond the not-so-greatness of your sisters. Because you can.)
   
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Re: Parent Problems - October 24th 2014, 06:53 AM

I think its time that you started writing notes to them telling them how your day is.. and how it would be nice to meet up more, eat together more and spend more time together. I think that its time to bring yourselves closer together. Just write notes to them because its somewhat more honest when there's no one around, no barrier between the two of you. They can be completely honest with you and it might help you and your parents connect with each other better I know its a tough situation to be in, but i think that you can do it.

And i get the feeling that its very possible because a child's love for his or her parents is the truest love ever. I think that its okay to tell them everything . just stay save and never ever think of hurting yourself. There's so much happiness ahead of you.

If you need more advice or just wanna rant to someone , i'll always be here.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Parent Problems - October 24th 2014, 10:19 PM

Hey there,

Is this something you could try sitting down and talking to them about? Would they be open to listening to your concerns and try putting some kind of action plan into place to try and better the situation. There are times when parents meet their kids physical needs but are not there emotionally. Sometimes it's because they don't know what their children need so maybe if you tried verbalizing to them what it is you need from them you could all slowly start working on getting to a better place.

Something else you could try doing is going to family counseling. Sit down with your parents and express to them that your needs aren't being met and let them know that you would like to try family counseling to try and work on getting those needs met. A family counselor will be able to work with you all to figure out what it is you all need to get to a better place.

I hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


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