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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Zeno Offline
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Should my parents get divorced? - May 7th 2009, 12:03 AM

Hi, Here's my story.. My mom had me when she was 19 years old and my original father was never involved in anything. I lived with my mom and grandparents until I was 5 when my mom married my current dad. Ever since I can remember he has always been a bad father. If i didn't do as he wanted he would sit on top of my chest and hold me down laughing at me for me to get up.. that happened at least once a week.

He is always using verbal abuse on me.. every time he opens his mouth, and I mean EVERY time, hes always complaining about something I didn't do or how I'm so lazy, worthless, retarded.. and that's just a few words. I found out a couple months ago that I had ADD, I tried explaining to my dad that was the reason that I was acting so lazy but hes such an idiot that he doesn't even listen to what I say.

I'm afraid that all the years of him doing this to me are going to have a bad outcome in the future. I'm 18 and going to college next year, but I'm going to start seeing a physiologist next week because I'm scared that he has messed my life up so much, that I'm gonna be out on the street!

I have no friends, no hobbies, and no life. I blame it all on my dad, including the ADD. I have a younger sister and I really don't want her to have to go though the same thing. I'm not sure how my mom feels about all this, whenever he yells at me, she just sits back and stares into space. I just think our lives would be alot better without him, what do you think?
   
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Re: Should my parents get divorced? - May 7th 2009, 01:51 AM

Hi Zeno,

I don't think he's a positive influence at all, and you should not have to put up with that. Seeing a counselor and talking about it would be a good idea. If anything, I think it would have a bad impact on your self esteem, which could have some affect on your social skills. I don't, however, think he is what caused your ADD. I don't think he helped with it or understood it, but I definitely do not think he was the cause.

I think that this is something you really need to talk to your mom about. If she is seeing what is going on, then it's her duty as a parent to put a stop to it. You and your sister should not be bullied by this guy. How old is your sister? If she is old enough to see a school counselor, then I highly suggest you give her a nudge in the right direction by letting her know she has people she can talk to if anything bad happens.

I don't think you're going to end up on the street because of this man. Do your best to sharpen up your social skills and go out and start interacting with people and finding activities you enjoy. There are books, and online sites that have information on how to be social and what kind of conversational questions you can ask people. Also, check out if there are any activities that you can participate in around your community. Join a club, team, or get out and volunteer. The more people you meet, the bigger chance you could meet someone who might be able to get you a job in future. Start making up a resume and updating it consistently too. If you get this started, there's no way your 'father' can hold you back.

I think it's terrible what that man has done to you already. You are old enough not to take it now and to protect your sister from it. Get in contact with that therapist and get some advice for what your sister can do as well.

The best of luck to you, and take care
If you ever want to talk, or need help with anything just PM me.

Nat.


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