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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Mothers day (it was yesterday haha I am aware, it's still bugging me though) - May 10th 2009, 11:49 PM

Well the past few days i've been arguing with my family a lot.

Long story short my brother decided i wasn't allowed to his family birthday thing because he doesn't like me and made up a story about me being rude to his gf so my parents would agree that i couldn't come.

Then my mum started on me for being rude to him when he came and asked what he should do for the bday im not invited to like wth. And then she just kept starting on me for all these stupid reasons like me using the dryer when she was and me saying she's unfair. She's really a petty person and when she gets irritated she actually puts her hands over her ears and tells me she won't listen to me.

And then because she went off at me my dad decided to tell me that i'll be kicked out the next time i say anything or do anything wrong, and that i'm only living here under duress and that he doesn't want me here etc etc which i already know it just is rude and unessarcary to yell it at me, to the point where im shaking, cause he throws his weight around a bit.

ANWYAY. thats just what happened the day before mothers day, my mum and dad said that just as i walked out to go see a movie, i got hom at 11pm and the next morning my mum came in asking where her mums presenet was and i said oh i didn't get you one i thought it'd be weird considering how you've been yelling at me non stop past two days and you've gotten your husband kicking me out because of it. And now she isn't talking to me cause i didnt buy her a present or make her a card.

* we NEVER do mothers day or that sorta stuff it's just not a big thing in my family at all, no present giving things are...i always give her the best most thoughtful gifts every other year for her birthday and it was only this year my borther decided to get her soming so i was shown up.

SO anyway now she isnt talking to me, refuses to let me eat anything that she has cooked or bought and is being a right bitch! I asked her if shed get over it if i got her flowers or wahtever and she said she doesnt want a present, a card or a sorry and i should think of somthing else.

WHAT ELSE IS THERE!? slash i don't think im in the wrong. She is a crap mother, why would i give her a card saying how much i loved her when i clearly wasn't feeling like i did at all, the last thing that was said to me was that they were going to kick me out. great parenting. I dont know what to do cause i can't afford to move out (without sacraficing my studies), so im stuck here for another year until i finish university.
   
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Re: Mothers day (it was yesterday haha I am aware, it's still bugging me though) - May 10th 2009, 11:57 PM

I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but sometimes when you're living under the same roof as your family, there's give and take.

My family has a shit-ton of stupid rules (my dad is a little.. well you know) and I try my best to follow them, so even when I forget something and they get mad and start fighting, I can tell myself that at least I tried. There's a give and take, you need to convince yourself to do more give. You have to bend down and take it sometimes, for the sanctity of the family because they are your tribe, they are taking care of you.. feeding you. I know it's hard because you're 18 and you feel like you shouldn't have to act like a little girl anymore, but it comes down to money, and it's really just another year. Try to ease the relationships, make things not so miserable for yourself.

I'm not saying you should hop into the car and buy your mother a fruitcake as we speak, but maybe when you calm down a little you can make family breakfast and write her a little diplomatic note?

I'm really sorry you're having family issues, Delilah. Just hang in there and try to do your part to ease things up?


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Re: Mothers day (it was yesterday haha I am aware, it's still bugging me though) - May 11th 2009, 12:38 AM

yeah no i do understand. it just drives me nuts cause they go on about doing so much for me and they don't. the only thing they do is let me live here, and like my dad says, it's only because he feels morally obligated because he knows id be on the streets if he didn't let me. grr, i just don't know what to say in a note?

I started writing one and it just turned into a mean letter about how i feel like crap when weekends come up cause i hate having everyone in the house with me!

and we don't eat breakfast as a family, slash it's 10.30am here on a monday :P so im just home before i go to uni.

thanks for responding what should i say in the note? should i just say sorry anyway? she knows i'm not apologising because i mean it thoug, so she told me not to say it.
   
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Re: Mothers day (it was yesterday haha I am aware, it's still bugging me though) - May 11th 2009, 01:57 AM

Just say that you're having a stressful time playing your role in the family but you really want to try and make things better, you know?


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