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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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kelsey-marie Offline
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Exclamation Friends with serious issues - May 13th 2009, 12:02 AM

I've posted another thread so this may sound familier and it fits into too many catergories. My friend who I used to be close to but now not so much is getting into serious trouble. She skipped school for a week straight and is now bound to fail. Today she picked a fight with a girl in the bathroom. She called her a fat b**** and a f***ing whore. Even when the principal came in to try and stop it she kept hitting and cussing now she's suspended for 10 days. And you know why she did it? Cause she was tired of school! She smokes, drinks does drugs, has sex and prolly a whole lot a other crap i don't know about. I want to stay close with her but at the same time I'm tired of being the responsible friend in the relationship. I want to let loose but not to her level and I'm trying to keep her from doing something she'll regret. Her mom (no dad) isn't any help, she acts like a teenager, drinking and smoking. Bringing randomn guys into the house with my friend (she's an only child and only 13). Oh and now my friend is dating some 21 year old dude whos a total creep. You want to know what her mom did about that? She let him move in with them. MY friend is 13! Thats wrong and gross not to mention illegal. WTF SHOULD I DO?!?!? Theres no way i'm ditching her now except i really really want to. I'm not a goodie goodie two shoe who can't take some fun, but its just drugs and sex at 13 is not my idea of fun! Besides my friend cheats on all her boyfriends and makes out with random guys. Her mom does too so how does that help. Yes, my parents know and so does my principal and our D.A.R.E officer because I've gone for help and told them. My parents can't do anything and the school officials who prolly could don't. To them my friend doesn't matter just another bad kid wasting her life away. But thats not who she is, she knows better but i don't think she knows how to get out! Please help me out, i seriously beg you!
   
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Mel14 Offline
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Re: Friends with serious issues - May 13th 2009, 01:55 AM

That just sounds terrible. I can tell you really care about her and want to help, so I seriously applaud you!! Dealing with this sort of stuff is sooo tough, most people can't even grasp that idea. You seem to be try your hardest with this and it's just not doing much. Maybe instead of trying to fix your friends problems, try talking to her about her feelings and what she thinks rather than just trying to convince her not to do it. Maybe there is something underneath all of that, that's making her do all this. I can see you really want to help her, so maybe having someone really care about her talk to her about her life could help that
Hopefully she can see how good of a friend you really are and try to change her ways.

I'm not telling you to do anything, but I would say you shouldn't quit on her. I think you could have an awesome influence on her, which is important.

best wishes,
Megan


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He'll dance away just like a child.
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Re: Friends with serious issues - May 15th 2009, 12:20 AM

Hey there Kelsey-Marie,

You are a really great friend to care about her so much, and I think it's good that you want to help. It does sound like there are some issues in her life right now, and it sounds like she could really use a friend like you.

My first suggestion would be to continue talking to the authorities at your school. If she is starting fights and doing illegal things just because she's bored, then that is something the school should get involved in. It's not fair for her to take out her feelings on other students, so that should be dealt with. Also, those people at school are there to help the students, not give up on them! If you need to demand help for your friend, then you have the right to demand it.

I don't think there is anything you can do about her mom letting her boyfriend live in their house. That is her mom's decision. What I think you should do, however, is talk to her about how inappropriate it is, and how you do not think it's legal. Ask the authorities at your school to make sure that is correct.

You are feeling really strongly about what's happening with your friend, and I think this is something your really need to communicate with her. If she doesn't know how much her actions are affecting both her life and how you feel, then she will never change. Keep her informed and updated. Communication is important in every friendship, even on such serious things. This doesn't mean you are a goodie two shoes, this means that you are a good friend and that you care about her. If she doesn't see it that way, then maybe you should rethink spending time with her.

Take care and don't let her actions negatively affect you.

Nat.


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