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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Texting? - September 13th 2015, 04:00 AM

So I have a friend (let's call her Jane) who I am really close with. The thing is that as of this year, we are going to different schools because I switched school boards. We can still see each other though, because we're in the same city, right? The thing is that Jane is moving to the other side of the country soon and we will only be able to text each other. It sucks, but hey, that's what social media and texting are for. The unfortunate thing is that she doesn't really reply to texts unless she has a specific answe in mind. (If I say hi, she'll reply and if I ask her a question then she'll answer, but as soon as I make a statement like "I guess he just really likes turtles" [which is an inside joke for us], she just doesn't reply.) At first I was wondering if she was trying to gently end our friendship, but then she texted me saying how much she missed talking to me at lunch. Um... any advice?


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Re: Texting? - September 13th 2015, 04:11 AM

Do you think you can talk to her about this and let her know that you are worried about this? I think that it is best to get this sorted out before she moves to the other side of the country when things will be more difficult. Honesty and communication are key in any friendship after all, and since she's really close I think she will understand your concerns and understand that when she doesn't text you back you gear that she's trying to end the friendship or doesn't like talking. From there maybe the two of you can come up with solutions.


   
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Re: Texting? - September 13th 2015, 08:23 AM

I can see how this would be a little concerning for you how she doesn't reply to certain things. Maybe she's not sure how, or maybe she's distancing herself so moving so far away from her friends doesn't hurt as much? There isn't a sure way of knowing without asking her so I agree with Dez about talking to her about this now when it will be easier rather than when she moves away. Communication definitely is important to keep any friendships and relationships working. Kindly let her know you don't mean to pressure her to always respond, but you've just been wondering and worrying that when she doesn't respond, sometimes you feel it's because she's trying to end the friendship.

Rather than texting, how about setting a time each day and video chatting with her on Skype? This way it will feel more like you two are hanging out in person in a way. And no waiting for text replies. Another little thing that may help you two to maintain a friendship when she moves away is sending letters to each other every now and then. Texts can never make up for a personalized letter that lets the person know you haven't forgotten their friendship!

Hope this helped and that this gets sorted out. I'm sorry your friend is moving so far away though. This can't be easy.
   
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Re: Texting? - September 13th 2015, 11:46 PM

Hey there,

I think you should talk to her about this and see if you guys can get something sorted out. I know there are some people that are terrible at texting and it's possible that your friend is one of them. However, if she knows that these types of things bother you she might make more of an effort to change. All you can do is ask and see what happens.


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