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ZaraWrites Offline
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Unhappy Can't Take It Anymore - September 23rd 2015, 07:43 AM

So, I've had a problem for the past month with my parents... Or couple of months anyway. Ever since I got with my current fiancé, my mum hasn't been happy. She wanted me home at 11 every night, she then stopped me having dinners round there, even though his parents don't mind, and she would always control my life, and she was making me unhappy. Bearing in mind, I am 18, so I am legally an adult. But last night was the worst. One of our friends (I'm going to call him James) is going to uni in a couple of days, and because of this, he wanted to spend the evening with me, my fiancé and one of our other friends (Going to call him Luke). Thing is, last night was the last night James was free, along with Luke, so we thought last night would be a nice time to spend at the movies... My fiancé texted my mum asking if it was okay, and as he got no answer, he assumed it was okay. So, before the film, while we were having a meal, my mum rang, had a go at him because of it, then had a go at me. She even said "You have a choice. Miss out on the film, or find another accommodation." which I thought was unfair... We said the film started at 7, when it started at 8.30, but just before we finished the meal, my mum texted saying "Her dad isn't budging, she'll have to find another accommodation." and afterwards, I was crying and really upset. We all then went to the ice cream parlor, and when my fiancé and I were alone, I mentioned that it would be best I went home (It was 8 at this point) so I didn't cause more trouble, so we missed out on the film, even though James and Luke went along, making me feel really bad, because of it. I didn't get told off, luckily, and my mum said she wouldn't tell me off, but she said she couldn't guarantee that my dad wouldn't... I have no idea what to do, and I'm still worried that my dad will yell at me. My fiancé will be there with me anyway, and he said he would stick up for me, and he said it was his fault and everything, because he should've rung or whatever... I really don't know what to do. Should I just ignore my dad if he has a go at me, or should I just pack my case and move out, so they don't have to bother with me anymore. I'm so upset at home, and I am at the stage of hating my parents because I feel that they're controlling my life... I feel that they cannot be happy for me anymore, and they also never understand my depression or anything. I hate it, and I don't want to be here anymore!

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Re: Can't Take It Anymore - September 25th 2015, 03:27 AM

Have you told your parents about how they've been making you feel? Maybe you can sit down with them and tell them about this. I suggest using "I" statements, like "I feel --- when ---" so you don't sound like you're putting all the blame on them. After you tell them how they're making you feel, tell them what they can do to make you feel differently. If you don't think communicating verbally is an option, I suggest writing a letter. A letter can definitely help you plan what you'd like to say.

If you've already spoken to them about this or if you do speak to them and there isn't any improvement, I think you should take a look at all of your living options. It seems like your parents' actions are taking a toll on your mental health and you shouldn't be around any negativity unless you absolutely have to be.

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