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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
LiveLaughLove Offline
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Name: Simone
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Out of options?? There's got to be something to do, but I'm coming up short...? - May 14th 2009, 12:42 AM

OK so I'm kindof freaking out ----->

Basically, I have a friend who's in a pretty dangerous position right now, because she's going to be left home alone for three months while her mom and siblings go to Ghana (its pretty complicated, but they can't take her with them, and they have to go for religious reasons that're important to them)
Basically, I was thinkig she should just stay with me, because aside from obvious reasons why she shuldnt e alone for three months at 16, her ex-step-father (who wouldn't be staying with her) attempted to sexually asault her at one time, and he totally has a key to their appartent.... the whole situation is rather complicated but I just reached another snag, and I feel like I'm out of options.

I was thinking I could either a) have her stay with me, since I'm her only close friend here or b) i would have to tell child protective services because its dangerous for her to be all alone for three months, and she's just naturally innocent/ naiive and generally unaware = dangerous. Plus then they'd take her away from her mom, nd she wouldn't be able to be with her until she came of age, which would be so damaging...

So I was going with option A.

But I was thinkig my home situation wasn't too suitable... but its better than option B so I can't quite do anything about that.

So it was all resolved.

THEN the whole thing sort of hit the roof when my mom came into my room and saw that I had pistachio nut shells next to me on the bed (I was on LH talking about the whole situation to figure out what to do, so I thought I'd just get a bag to put them in when I logged off... which is what I had just done)... and my mom is a neat freak, plus she's chemically imbalanced in some way (though she would never get tested or anything) so of coarse she flipped out that i hadn't just gone to the kitchen to get a trash bag when i picked up the pistachios (but then I'd have to tell her that I'd left them in my room yesterday, which would have pissed her off even more), and then proceeded to shout rude things at me, insist that I was going straight to hell (strange, as I was raised not even to believe in hell), call me mre things (with some really good alliteration, thats the only positive thing I can bring to it) and now I am forbidden to leave my room for the rest of the day, go anywhere for the rest of the schoolyear, or even talk to her unless she adresses me first... then I can only respond to what she's asking. That is, until she deides that I am again worthy of speach... which is seriously wack, of coarse. But now it seems like I don't have any options, to help my friend. My mom is "completely through with me", and I'm not aloud to even come near her, so how can I ask for her help?? I can't ask her to let my friend stay now, and so what'll Lin (my friend) do She can't just stay by herself for three months, thats illegal, and dangerous, with her careless disposition and her creeper ex-step-dad, and option B is also really bad. And I guess option C is to just let her stay alone, and call to check in on her (because we live too far away for me to just up and visit, since i don't drive and I'm not aloud to go out now anyways)... so now I just have no idea what to do. There's got to be something else, something else I could figure out that would help her so she's not in a dangerous position, and also not in state care, forced away from her mom until she's 18... but I'm coming up short, and need help.

I know that was pretty long... but thanks you so, so much for reading, and I'd apreciate any advice/ideas you've got... there has to be something to do.

Last edited by LiveLaughLove; May 14th 2009 at 12:54 AM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Out of options?? There's got to be something to do, but I'm comming up short...? - May 14th 2009, 02:53 AM

hmmm... this is a hard one im sorry but i cant really think of anything for you to do. maybe you could ask one of your friends to stay with her or let her stay with them? or you could do something that would make your mom ask you a question about something related so you could tell her then about your friend staying there. im sorry thats all i can come up with but ill think about it and tell you if i figure out anything else. I hope you work this out.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
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Re: Out of options?? There's got to be something to do, but I'm comming up short...? - May 15th 2009, 12:30 AM

Hi Simone,

I take it that your friend's mom and siblings have not left just yet? If they haven't, then I seriously think you need to have a chat with her mom. She may not be aware that it's illegal for your friend to stay on her own for that long. Just let her know what your concerns are, and say that your friend can phone you at any time and can probably stay over for a while at your place at some point.

I would also suggest that you urge her to change the locks on her apartment door if she is allowed. It's not right that her ex-step-father has a key and had that kind of history. If they can change the locks, then they should before they leave.

Nat.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
LiveLaughLove Offline
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Name: Simone
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Re: Out of options?? There's got to be something to do, but I'm comming up short...? - May 15th 2009, 10:16 PM

Thanks, Brianna& Nat (:

Yeah, they should definitely change the locks. But with appartments, you can go get the spare key from whoever runs the place, and I think its under his name ~ But right now we're thinking about whether or not someone could stay with her; she has a cousin in college the next state up, and since we're pretty boarderline, it should work out. At least, I hope it does.

Peace&Love,

Simone.
   
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