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Am I a mistake? - November 23rd 2015, 12:05 PM

My parents said I'm a mistake. They love my youngest brother more, probably because he is the most good looking out of the 3 siblings and I'm a girl. If anythings wrong it's all my fault and I'm sick of it. I got bullied in school but they never helped, but if anyone bullies my brother they will rush to the principal office and ask for explanations. I have been bullied for so long, teachers called me ugly, I don't have friends till high school, I have been lonely for so long.I try to get good grades but they are always unsatisfied. They like to use negative words on me, lazy, stupid, hatred for me....
I'm so tired.....
   
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Re: Am I a mistake? - November 23rd 2015, 01:46 PM

Hey there!

You are most certainly not a mistake. I'm sorry that you've been through all that you have. Things will get better. Feel free to message me if you ever need anyone to talk too!


Can't stop now, I've traveled so far. - Foreigner

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. - Garth Brooks


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Re: Am I a mistake? - November 23rd 2015, 05:06 PM

Hey there,

You are not a mistake, never think like that about yourself! I know it is hard to see your real worth when you have people in life putting you down, but you are so much better than that. I'm sure your parents don't hate you, maybe they don't know how to deal with bringing up a daughter. I think you need to let them know how you're feeling because these feelings will only get worse over time. Maybe your parents don't know how you're feeling.

I hope things get better for you and I'm here anytime you need someone to talk to.
Paige


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Re: Am I a mistake? - November 24th 2015, 02:00 AM

Hey there and welcome to TeenHelp!

We're happy to have you join us here - thank you for reaching out.

I'm sorry you are told such hurtful things by adults that are supposed to build up your confidence and self esteem. Having your own parents say you are a mistake must be incredibly hurtful. I hope you know that you aren't. They shouldn't be saying that to you, nor should your teachers be. Have you spoken to your parents about how it hurts when they say things like that to you? Speaking up to teachers when they say rude things to you could be important too. You should be able to stand up for yourself and you can always do so in a polite, respectful way. In a calm voice you could say something along the lines of, "hearing that I'm ugly only contributes to my negative view of myself. Please take into consideration what type of impact your words could have on a person already struggling. Especially young students in school."

To answer the most important question; no, you are not a mistake. To be referred to as "a mistake" would be untrue in regards to your true worth. You are a human being and you matter. Everyone matters and is special because each person is unique. There will be plenty of similar people in the world with so many of the same likes/dislikes that they feel like twins, but no one is exactly the same down to all their looks, thoughts, feelings and imagination. No one is exactly the same and that's what makes every person unique. Just because you are different doesn't make you ugly. It makes you beautifully unique.

I imagine you have a lot of great qualities and a lot to offer in lots of areas of life. A lot of talents (even if you have not discovered those talents) and good traits. Along with that, you have most likely done a lot for others in your life you may not realize - even for strangers. Telling a silly joke, holding a door open for someone, supporting someone through hardship, spreading hope and encouragement, making others smile... all the little things count and can impact a person's life in a lot of ways. You aren't a mistake. You have a purpose and I bet you do a lot of wonderfully positive things that no one gives you credit for; not even yourself.

Be kind to others and yourself. Rude actions and words from others can be untrue and are only hurtful. You deserve kindness and respect and to be treated well. Treat yourself like a friend and always pay attention to your accomplishments. Focus on your strengths. I bet you are a strong person with a lot of potential. Don't forget that you have a lot to offer, okay? You're important and you matter regardless of what anyone else says.

I hope to continue seeing you around here. You can always expect kindness and support here. Take care and have a good day.
   
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