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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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What does this mean? - November 28th 2015, 05:50 AM

So left me give you some back story. I have a friend who is 21 she means the world to me. Like she's the one who truly knows EVERYTHING about me. So after my other friend moved away and wouldn't speak to me. I felt like I had no one. No best friend. It just hit me tonight that my other friend was never my best friend. This friend has always been my best friend! So she was feeling really down. And I sent her a super long message about how much I care about her and all of this stuff then I said that she is my best friend. I know she has another best friend but she is mine. "And she responded with: That was a very long message. Then I was like: Yea lol Well I care a lot and I wanted you to realized this! I also probably had several spelling errors lol then she said: I do not notice that." So I just don't know what this means? Like its not like I'm asking her to marry me or date me lol Just saying that she's my best friend. So it's not like I can say I came on too strong. Like so does that mean she really does not care about me? It's been an hour.. Like did I scare her off? Did I just lose another best friend? I'm so confused. Thoughts please


Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. ~Oscar Wilde.

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Re: What does this mean? - November 28th 2015, 06:17 AM

Hey, Kaliope.

Realizing your best friend isn't a real friend must have been really hard for you. Especially since I imagine you were very close with this person and looked up to them. I'm glad you have a new friend in your life though!

I have been in similar situations in regards to her response, so I can relate to the stress of feeling like you may have scared that person off. Either way, you're a good friend for writing a long message letting her know what a good friend you consider her to be and letting her know that she matters to you. That's sweet and kind. She's lucky to have a friend like you!

I don't know your friend, so I can't tell you the reasoning behind her reaction for certain. But she is feeling low and that may have impacted her response. She may not have the energy for a proper response or may feel numb. For example, when a person is depressed it can show through in their socialization and be misinterpreted as not caring. When in reality they aren't sure what to say due as a result to how they are feeling - or lack of feeling. I bet she cares about you.

You can always ask her if you've spooked her to seek reassurance and find out why she reacted the way she did. I know that it isn't easy having thoughts like these on your mind wondering if you've scared someone away. It can be stressful. Plus, it is amazing how much communication can ease worries on both sides!

Can you keep me updated? Take care and hang in there.
   
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Re: What does this mean? - November 28th 2015, 06:29 AM

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Originally Posted by Nala View Post
Hey, Kaliope.

Realizing your best friend isn't a real friend must have been really hard for you. Especially since I imagine you were very close with this person and looked up to them. I'm glad you have a new friend in your life though!

I have been in similar situations in regards to her response, so I can relate to the stress of feeling like you may have scared that person off. Either way, you're a good friend for writing a long message letting her know what a good friend you consider her to be and letting her know that she matters to you. That's sweet and kind. She's lucky to have a friend like you!

I don't know your friend, so I can't tell you the reasoning behind her reaction for certain. But she is feeling low and that may have impacted her response. She may not have the energy for a proper response or may feel numb. For example, when a person is depressed it can show through in their socialization and be misinterpreted as not caring. When in reality they aren't sure what to say due as a result to how they are feeling - or lack of feeling. I bet she cares about you.

You can always ask her if you've spooked her to seek reassurance and find out why she reacted the way she did. I know that it isn't easy having thoughts like these on your mind wondering if you've scared someone away. It can be stressful. Plus, it is amazing how much communication can ease worries on both sides!

Can you keep me updated? Take care and hang in there.
Thank you! I really believe that it has a lot to with her being depressed.. Just normally when I would text her and tell her something similar she would say Thank you that meaned a lot or something like that.. So I feel as if I didn't help by sending that. I was hoping too help! But I just do not know... Probably has a lot to do with how she's feeling right now though. I definitely will! We talk to each other every day. So hoping this just blows over and I didn't scare her off. Lol Sounds so weird saying that because it sounds like something someone would say about like a guy they like. But nope just about my best friend ha Thanks again!


Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. ~Oscar Wilde.
   
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Re: What does this mean? - December 5th 2015, 03:13 PM

Hi kaliope,
I would probably be the wrong person to ask about this because I am in the same situation right now and haven't figured it out. I just want to say that maybe you could try to talk to her about it. I know you tried that but what always helps me is to make sure that the other person knows how you're feeling and they can keep that in mind. If a long message doesn't work, you might try to write a hand written letter or something that explains everything and mail it to her. That way it can show how much you really care and it would make it that much more personal.
___________________________
I hope this helps. I hope you can get it figured out because a lot of tens people do that because they're afraid to ruin something. Or they're afraid to speak because of possible jealousy. There's lots of reasons people do that but try not to take it personal until you know what's happening. You could even write at the end of the letter to please reply to you or something so you know what she's thinking. She might just do that for you. Anyway, stay strong and I hope it all works out.
Good luck!
   
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