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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Sam
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I dont think my dad understands - November 30th 2015, 06:26 AM

When my mum first told him i may have aspergers, he was annoyed and wouldnt accept the possibility. Later he did though, and im now diagnosed. He also doesnt know how bad my social anxiety is and he doesnt know im depressed or doesnt understand depression. My mum also told me not to tell him that she wants to try and get me medication for depression (i dont want it anyway).
   
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Re: I dont think my dad understands - November 30th 2015, 07:18 AM

Hey Sam, I have a similar disorder NLD and was diagnosed as an adult (and depression and anxiety come with it). I don't think people understand me either. It's a hard thing to accept and its possible that he really doesn't understand it. I know how frustrating it is.


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Re: I dont think my dad understands - November 30th 2015, 08:11 AM

Hey, Sam.

When you have mental health issues and/or physical conditions that impact your life a lot, it can be frustrating when the people around you don't understand. I'm sorry you don't feel like your dad fully understands what you are going through.

Could it be helpful to have your doctor explain Asperger's to your father? You could print out articles that explain it and you could also talk to your dad and explain what it is like from your point of view. Writing a note explaining it may be easier so that you can choose your wording more precisely. The same thing goes for social anxiety and depression. You can provide him with information and talk to him about it so that he will hopefully develop a better understanding of it.

Helping those closest to you understand difficulties you deal with can be helpful in quite a few ways. For one thing, that person will come to understand why you act a certain way (avoiding social situations, avoiding going out, seemingly nervous etc) and why you may say/do/feel the things you do. Rather than potential misunderstandings leading to arguments or hurt feelings due to simply not understanding. Secondly, having a person understand will allow them to find better ways to help and support you, along with validating what you go through upon acknowledging that what you go through is a real thing that many others struggle with.

However, despite others not understanding what you deal with, it doesn't make your feelings or experiences any less valid. I do hope that at some point, your dad eventually comes to understand and accept what you go through. As for the medication for your depression, have you told your mom that you do not want medication? Whether or not you go on medication is your decision and it'd be best to let her know if you aren't comfortable with that decision.
   
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