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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Lozzaa Offline
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Holiday and Friends. - May 14th 2009, 06:43 PM

I'm in a dilema, and I don't know what to do.

I told my friend that I wasn't going on holiday with her any more and I'm stuck wether I should go or not.

I said I wasn't since she has extremely annoyed me the the other night. Speaking french at me, rather than too me, and not translating. Every time I asked her to do so, she repeated herself, thus me getting annoyed. This isn't the first time she has done so. Also, the other girl that is/was going with us speaks French too so its not uncommon for them to chatter to themselves and not telling me what they're saying.

I have been told I NEED to learn French in 4 wks, and I'm not prepared to sit looking through French material, when I'm going to relax, not worry if my "grammer" is correct.

The other girl who is going with us, I have only met her 3/4 times since july. I ask her to nights out and various activities and she never comes, so I'm feeling awkward about that. The times we (the three) of us have been together they arrange nights out to the theatre but don't ask me. (which I find to be extremely rude)

However, I was until a short while ago, really looking forward to going. But I'm not sure anymore. The language is a big thing and being put down for any little thing at the moment from them is getting to me.


DO you guys think I'm right to drop out?? :S help??

xxx
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Holiday and Friends. - May 14th 2009, 06:57 PM

hiyaa.

to be honest i think you probably are right to drop out. say you went, and then you fell out with the other people going, you'd be completely isolated, presumably in a foreign country? i just don't think it's worth it really. i know how you feel about the language thing, i have two friends who both speak fluent spanish and they often chat to eachother and pretty much exclude others from the conversation, i too find it completely rude. i haven't had experience myself with going on holiday with friends, but i can give you the example of my older brother. he went to spain last year with a bunch of friends, one guy ended up starting an argument with another and the whole group got split up for the rest of the two weeks and one person was left of their own having to go home early, and whole situation was kinda awkward.

i know a lot of people will tell you that you shouldn't not go, and you shouldn't let people get to you and ruin your fun, but really when it comes down to it do you really want to risk being/feeling alone on holiday? not to mention you'd have wasted money if you don't have a good time.. i presume you haven't already committed money to it?

i don't know.. that's just my take on it.


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Re: Holiday and Friends. - May 14th 2009, 07:01 PM

There's only the three of us going, and i'm feeling like the spare part. I just don't know if the friendship will withold this though. She emailed to apologise and I replied but she hasnt responded since.

She also doesnt realise that it will cost me the best part of 500 on top of what i've already paid. She doesn't think this because she lives in France... I'm willing to risk losing the ~200 to drop out.
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Re: Holiday and Friends. - May 14th 2009, 08:06 PM

It really doesn't sound like you're comfortable going along, perhaps due to the fight perhaps due to the language issues, perhaps more than either/both of those.

I think if you are okay with losing the money you have so far put down on the trip then perhaps it is better to do something else. I think it would be better to spend your time doing something you know (or at least there is a good chance) you will enjoy. I'm sorry this trip is kind of falling through for you, but there is lots more you can do instead, I'm sure.
   
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Re: Holiday and Friends. - May 15th 2009, 09:26 AM

Thanks.
She is still speaking to me, which is good and we're going to aberdeen next weekend. She hasn't mentioned the holiday yet though...

Unfortunately, I wont be able to claim any money back from flights, and there isn't a cancel flight option on there either. Oh well. Just means the airports cannot re-sell my seat..

xx
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Re: Holiday and Friends. - May 16th 2009, 03:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lozzaa View Post
Thanks.
She is still speaking to me, which is good and we're going to aberdeen next weekend. She hasn't mentioned the holiday yet though...

Unfortunately, I wont be able to claim any money back from flights, and there isn't a cancel flight option on there either. Oh well. Just means the airports cannot re-sell my seat..

xx
I'm glad she is still speaking to you, and I'm glad you're at least going on a small trip. What do you plan on saying/doing when/if she does mention the holiday? At some point you should probably bring it up that you aren't going to go.

That is unfortunate that there is no cancellation for the flight(s) but, as long as you're okay with losing the money then there is no problem. I am sorry though that you are having to cancel because I'm sure in some way you were looking forward to this holiday.
   
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Re: Holiday and Friends. - May 16th 2009, 10:07 AM

I have no idea what I'm going to say when its brought up. I have told her I'm not going but that was only in a small phonecall. I will probably see her tonight.

I was looking forward to it... but oh well
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Re: Holiday and Friends. - May 16th 2009, 03:55 PM

You can have an even better holiday with someone else, or by yourself

Seeing as you have already said something about not going, it will be easier than just coming out and telling her. But I suggest you be honest instead of lying and saying something like "something came up". Tell her the truth, that you didn't want to go because you thought you would be a third wheel or something to that effect. Tell her you didn't feel comfortable with them always speaking french and you not knowing what they are saying, things like that.

Good luck!


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Re: Holiday and Friends. - May 18th 2009, 08:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drey View Post
But I suggest you be honest instead of lying and saying something like "something came up". Tell her the truth, that you didn't want to go because you thought you would be a third wheel or something to that effect. Tell her you didn't feel comfortable with them always speaking french and you not knowing what they are saying, things like that.

I told her all that in the phonecall... and she was crying etc.

I'll see her tonight with another friend so yeah... =/
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