Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
gloves123 Offline
Regular TeenHelper
gloves123's Avatar
Name: Rashel
Age: 22
Gender: Female

Posts: 351
Blog Entries: 4
Join Date: December 21st 2010

Arrow My brother likes to use albiest language - December 5th 2015, 01:51 PM

Hi there
So my brother and I get along pretty well, but recently I've been noticing more and more the type of language he uses to describe people. He's used it for a long time but I'm just now really starting to see it since educating myself on feminism and albiest language ( sorry if I spelt that wrong )
I've been noticing that my brother is very fond of the term 'retarded'. He uses it casually to describe a character that acts silly or not very smart on TV most of the time, but he's used it outside of that situation as well.
I want to explain to him why he shouldn't say that, but I don't know how.
I was thinking of saying that he wouldn't refer to a POC by the N word, or that he wouldn't stand by and let someone he knew or didn't know refer to me as a dyke or f*g.
I just don't know how to go about it
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount2's Avatar
Edit avatar

Posts: n/a

Re: My brother likes to use albiest language - December 5th 2015, 02:37 PM

I'm sorry this is happening. I have a hard time hearing things like that as well. I would recommend sitting him down to explain why he shouldn't use this sort of language. Maybe take notes, or write a letter if it helps. But just be respectful and maybe have your goal be to help him understand it a little more. He might come to realize why he shouldn't use that sort of language. I hope this helps.
Feel free to pm me if you need anything.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount11's Avatar
Edit avatar

Posts: n/a

Re: My brother likes to use albiest language - December 6th 2015, 06:00 AM

Hi, Rashel!

First off, I'm glad you and your brother get along well. That could make talking to him about this a lot easier, and there's a better chance of him taking you seriously. He is likely set in his ways since he has been using this language for such a long time, but if he puts effort into it then it could be best for him to try and cut back on the amount of language he uses. Just like many things, though, he has to be the person to make the decision to change how he views and talks about others.

As an example, does your brother truly think of these people on TV who are silly as retarded, or is that just an exaggerated term he uses? Establishing why he uses these terms can be important in understanding better, and hopefully giving him ideas on ways to reduce the amount of language he uses if he is open to that. Your idea of explaining to him that he wouldn't appreciate anyone else referring to you with rude language could be a good way of helping him understand how his words could hurt others, even if they weren't meant to be hurtful since it's said casually. The thing is, other people don't know if he means it or not.

Let him know you care about him, but you find it upsetting how he refers to others. Rather than attacking how he talks about other people, help him understand from a different viewpoint why it isn't best to use that language. Explain that using such strong words casually can impact a person greatly, not just them, but their loved ones. How would he feel if someone called you "retarded", or called him "retarded"? He doesn't have to be extremely kind and voice his thoughts, but just do his best to not use rude language so casually. He could become a lot more respected by those around him and those he meets in the future if he, too, treats others with general respect.

You can sit down with him to talk to him about this or write a note so that you can practice how you want to word everything. Just do your best to explain it in a calm way to help him understand how his words may impact someone else, and also how you find it a bit upsetting to hear how he talks about others. Make a point to explain that even though words are just words and they are easy to say, they can have a huge impact on people. Even just one word can have the power to cause a person to label themselves, such as "retarded".

I know you care a lot about your brother, that's why I think it's commendable to be wanting to bring this up to him. I doubt he has bad intentions towards the way he refers to others, which is why it is important for him to understand how it could affect others. I hope you talk to him and it turns out to be a good conversation. Best of luck, Rashel!
Closed Thread


albiest, brother, language, likes

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.