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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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xxpaigiexx Offline
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I can't take anymore of this - December 9th 2015, 10:38 PM

The other day my boyfriend and me were sitting with a member of my family. Everything was fine and we were all joking around about the time we wake up when this particular family member said that he'd like to be able to go to sleep at 10pm and wake up at 6am every morning. Jokingly my boyfriend said that if he spent two weeks going to sleep and waking up with him he'd soon have him in a routine. All of a sudden my relative started going mad and on some huge rant saying that he's worked 14 hour days, he's done hard work blah blah blah telling my boyfriend he's a child in comparison.
My dad asked me what happened and explained that this particular relative said something to him regarding this. I broke down and explained what happened and said if my boyfriend was in the wrong I would be the first person to pull him up on it and have a go at him and that he'd done nothing wrong and things got out of hand over a really innocent comment.
My dad was in agreement with me and basically said he done nothing wrong then. I broke down and just told him that I don't feel comfortable in my own home and that I don't know what to do anymore.

I thought on things today and thought the best thing I could do was calmly confront this relative and explain that the comment was innocent and no malice was meant but this person is so argumentative that I don't know how well it will go down. I don't want to make things worse, but things cant continue the way they are.

The thing I don't understand is why did he bring it up with my dad and not my mum... I was just going to leave things but because he brought it up I feel I have to do something. My boyfriend asked me what he did wrong and I told him he didn't do anything. I don't want to be in a position where I am treading on eggshells in my own home. I'm fed up of constantly feeling so anxious. My home isn't somewhere I can relax anymore. This is not the first outburst there has been, there was one ages ago but I didn't witness it, so couldn't really say or do much. I was in the room and to be honest I didn't even know what to say, I was just in shock.

Please, someone help. This is all I've thought about.

Paige


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CrusadingAvenger Offline
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Re: I can't take anymore of this - December 10th 2015, 06:01 AM

Hello Paige,

Unfortunately, you can't control how people react to certain things. In the case of your boyfriend and this relative of yours, I agree too that your boyfriend didn't do anything wrong. Your relative got easily offended by your boyfriend's joke, and it's almost as if he can't even take a joke. The relative even went out of his way to complain to your dad about it, and obviously, he's butt-hurt by your boyfriend's joke when he didn't mean it intentionally.

Personally, I wouldn't recommend directly talking to this relative of yours because from what you described, he's not going to be reasonable with you, and it's possible that not only the situation could get worse from there, but he may also complain about you to your dad, which could make you even more stressed out than you already are. It's entirely up to you how you want to handle it though. If you feel like the only way to resolve this is talking to this relative directly about this matter, then go for it. However, if you feel that this might not be such a good idea, then it probably isn't. I'm sorry to hear you're uncomfortable living in your home right now, but I'm sure that things will get resolved. You just got to figure out how you want to resolve this, or if you should leave it alone entirely. Though, since it's been bothering, then something needs to be done about this.

In the meantime, if things around the house make you feel uncomfortable, you should consider being out of the house and going somewhere to clear your head. This could be one of your favorite places you like to visit, or you could simply go for a walk outside.

I hope your situation improves. Take care of yourself.

-Batman




“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
   
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xxpaigiexx Offline
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Re: I can't take anymore of this - December 12th 2015, 06:42 PM

Hey,

Thank you for your kind words. I'm definitely going to take what you've said on board. I'm going to see how things play out and if I need to step in and say something I will but for the time being I'm going to see how things go and try to let it go for the time being.

Paige


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