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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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itsF Offline
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Friends think I'm boring. - December 13th 2015, 07:10 PM

Well.

My friends are like sheep. Whatever I say, they say. Whatever I do, they do. They all pick their traits off of me.

So, recently I stopped playing video games and started getting on with more productive stuff, I revised for exams, learning how to play piano and doing stuff other then playing games. But I stay on skype with them and today one of them said "You know, itsF, you are being really boring" and they all say this just because I am not playing games with them.

Then to make it worse, they have all started speculating why I stopped playing. They think there is some huge reasoning behind it no matter how much I tell them that I just dont want to play anymore.

what do.
   
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Re: Friends think I'm boring. - December 13th 2015, 07:50 PM

It's important to remember to make time for your friends, as well as yourself. It's great that you started doing more productive stuff, however you have to keep your friends in mind and what you have in common with them. This is often how people are brought together in the first place.

The fact is they probably just miss you, and spending time with you. Maybe you stop in with them, and play occasionally?

Tell them there is no big reason behind why you decided to stop. You've just been busy doing other things and developing new hobbies. Who knows, they may enjoy some of the new things you're up to.
   
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Re: Friends think I'm boring. - December 13th 2015, 07:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeTheRonWay View Post
It's important to remember to make time for your friends, as well as yourself. It's great that you started doing more productive stuff, however you have to keep your friends in mind and what you have in common with them. This is often how people are brought together in the first place.

The fact is they probably just miss you, and spending time with you. Maybe you stop in with them, and play occasionally?

Tell them there is no big reason behind why you decided to stop. You've just been busy doing other things and developing new hobbies. Who knows, they may enjoy some of the new things you're up to.
I would, but I am just bored because we just play the same stuff over and over again.
   
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Re: Friends think I'm boring. - December 14th 2015, 11:48 PM

I agree with what's been said. I think you should consider telling your friends that you just wanted to do some different things for fun and there's no big reason as to why you stopped playing. Since you're bored of the games you usually play, do you think you could try looking into some different ones?


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Re: Friends think I'm boring. - December 16th 2015, 03:15 AM

Sometimes people are afraid of change or rather, reluctant to change. They'd much rather do the same thing daily because they are comfortable in them. When you changed your routine, do you get better perspective on how you're spending your time more productively, and learning new things along the way?

We all grow at different pace. It's probably your time to move on from gaming (with getting bored at the games, doing nothing but the same for several hours a day, wanting to learn new things, etc). Having said that, it doesn't mean you are abandoning your friends.

Maybe you can invite them to do together what you're doing now? Peer influence is two way, if you're benefiting from these new activities, why not share the good with your friends? Furthermore, this is the time for you to explore and experience because you have nothing holding you back with all the opportunities today. If they are reluctant or totally against the idea, then you might suggest to meet up once a week or something to catch up.

Try not to be affected by what others expect of you to do something that no longer resonate with you.




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Re: Friends think I'm boring. - December 20th 2015, 07:01 AM

Hey there.

I agree with a lot of what everyone's said in previous replies.

When a person develops a routine that works, it can make them feel uncomfortable towards the idea of changing their routine. Whether it be adding to their current routine, or taking things out. This may be the case with your friends. They might also feel like you may not want to be their friend anymore, which is why they are looking for reasoning behind why you're spending your time doing other things. Because in their view, you did play video games with them a lot then suddenly stopped. That may not be the case, but it's a theory!

Is it possible to introduce your friends to your new-found hobbies to show them that there isn't any big reasoning behind why you don't spend as much time playing video games? Perhaps you could have them over, and play a piano piece you've recently learned. And explain that you have also been focusing on exams. They may even end up discovering that they enjoy piano as well, and take up piano or another musical instrument.

Along with that, are there any different games that you could suggest to your friends? I can see why playing the same thing over and over would get boring, especially when you likely want to be spending your time doing something else. Playing something different could change the pacing and make it more enjoyable for you.

You've found hobbies and have discovered new things in which make you happy, and it must be upsetting that your friends think you are boring as a result, simply because you aren't sticking to your older hobbies. However, you shouldn't let their words get in the way of your happiness and growing as a person by exploring different things, you know? Hopefully they'll come to realize that you are splitting your time up to do other things you enjoy, and that's all there is to it.

Best of luck in your hobbies! I bet learning the piano is a fun experience.
   
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Re: Friends think I'm boring. - December 25th 2015, 08:32 AM

Hello itsf

I do think that if some people don't like it when you break away from the want to do the same things over and over again, it might be time for some new friends who will allow you to be who you are, and also talk with you and be adventurous with you . This will also allow you to explore more of what this world has to offer, and enable you to grow and mature as a person which will definitely be to your huge benefit.Playing the piano's a nice experience, and if you're really interested in music you might also wanna try drumming and playing the guitar as learning many different things can be fun.

I think that having many different people doing many different things shows the real colors of the world, because there's so many things you could be doing.. why hold yourself back just cause some people are not happy with you quitting a habit you find monotonous? You've every right to be who you want

Also, i respect you for being responsible because you're someone who cares about your future and is willing to dedicate time to learn new things.Being so young, you'll mature faster and go places . I'm glad and happy for you!

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Re: Friends think I'm boring. - December 26th 2015, 07:07 PM

I think everyone else has touched on a lot of important stuff. I forget who said it (I read through this the other day and am just responding now) but they touched on the fact that often people bond over things that they have in common. And (in this case, it sounds like video games dominate a large part of what your group bonded over and they might feel neglected and "bored" by the fact that you're supposedly "suddenly" taking things more seriously like your school work. Of course, I do feel like people often play video games less and less, the more that they accept that have to take other things more seriously, whether it be a part-time job, homework, sports, or other hobbies. It's fine, it's common, it's typically part of growing up.

If your relationships with these people are important, and it sounds as though they are, perhaps you can take some time to explain to them where you are in your life and how them being critical of it is hurtful/upsetting/problematic and that you wish they'd be more supportive instead of negatively critical. From there, perhaps you can agree that you will play a game with them maybe once a week buuuut maybe you can let them know you're kind of bored of X Y or Z games and that you'd like to play a new game - Lord of the Rings Online is a game I've really been liking and it's free if you want a suggestion - and then you guys can get together on Thursday nights or Saturday afternoons to play, and maybe you guys can try out a new game every month or something. Just a thought. That way, if gaming is something important in this particular circle of friends, you're not totally walking away from it.

A second thing is that maybe you can begin spending more time developing deeper relationships with friends who you have more of your newer interests with, like maybe you know some friends who take school really seriously.




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