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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Eesha123 Offline
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Unhappy I got into a fight with my mum... - December 26th 2015, 06:42 PM

Today, I got into a fight with my mum. I just started crying because it was just a build up of sadness I guess over time. I usually never cry in front of anyone. She started getting angry at me and I told her how I felt about her thinking my sister is better then me. She says its because I'm lazy and I dont listen to her which I know is true but whenever she asks me to do something my sister immediately does it. I just feel isolated in my bedroom. Sad, lonely and worthless. I cry all the time these days. Sometimes I cry for no reason. Especially in asian families, parents have very high expectations. Maybe its because my mum wants me to have my own dream job and to be happy and successful, as she isnt living the life she always wanted to. I still remember all the stuff with family problems in the past. I try to forget it all and move on. I feel anxious going out to public places by myself. Thats why I always stay at home. My sister makes fun of me for it. I mean I just dont know what to do. Rumours have been going around about me being lesbian in my new school as well. I wish my life would just be easy. People keep continually thinking I'm staring at them in class when I'm not. All these stuff just make me depressed and anxious to be honest. Hopefully the rumours will die down after the holidays. I know what I am though. I know my sexual orientation. I mean surely my true friends wouldn't believe the rumours...

In general, I just feel sad and lonely. I can't ever meet people's expectations anymore. I would really appreciate any advice. Thanks

Last edited by Eesha123; December 27th 2015 at 03:14 PM. Reason: Moving to Friends And Family. :)
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cynefin Offline
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Re: I got into a fight with my mum... - December 27th 2015, 05:01 PM

I'm really sorry to hear that you feel this way right now. Something I've learned is that everyone has their own expectations for you, and you can't make everyone happy with the things you do. You can try to make everyone happy but that will become exhausting and it will make you feel unhappy. Instead of thinking about everyone's expectations, think about yourself. What expectations or short or long term goals do you have for yourself, and what steps are you going to take to get there?

For instance, maybe you want to resolve things with your mom. It might help to write her a note or set aside a time to calmly talk about your feelings. Maybe you can explain that you understand why she thinks you're lazy, but you feel as though you don't have an opportunity to do the things she asks you to because your sister immediately does everything instead. You could consider talking to your sister, and ask if she can let you do some things your mom asks of you so your mom won't think you're lazy anymore.

Maybe you can tell your family or someone about how you feel in regards to going out in public and being made fun of for not doing it. If going out in public is a goal of yours, then you can think of some steps to work on it. When I was anxious about being in public, I brought my iPod along with me. I listened to music in the car and in the store, and eventually I stopped listening to music in the store. Do you know what scares you so much about being in public? Maybe you can think of those things and then go from there.

Hopefully those rumors will die down after the holidays. A new rumor will probably form and take the spotlight instead of the ones about you. You know the truth about your sexual orientation and no one can take that away from you. If your friends don't believe you, then I don't think they're true friends.

Hang in there and feel free to PM me.

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