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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Is it wrong of my parents to not let me hang out with my friends while they aren't home? - January 12th 2016, 03:26 AM

I am 20 years old and my parents won't let me go out to lunch with my friends while they aren't home. I am a college student and still living with my parents. I don't have my own car which means that my friends have to pick me up from my house in order to go out with them. Do you think that it is wrong of my parents to not let me go out with my friends while they aren't home?
   
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Re: Is it wrong of my parents to not let me hang out with my friends while they aren't home? - January 12th 2016, 03:42 AM

You're over 18. What your parents don't know won't hurt them.
   
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Re: Is it wrong of my parents to not let me hang out with my friends while they aren't home? - January 12th 2016, 05:52 AM

My parents don't really let me have friends over the house when they're not home but they don't stop me from going out. Do you think you could calmly talk to them and ask them why they feel this way? Maybe they're afraid of you getting hurt in some way. You're their child after all and maybe they're having a hard time accepting that you are an adult now

Maybe you can make a compromise. For example my sister had a curfew while living at home. Or maybe you can call to check in until they feel comfortable?


   
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Re: Is it wrong of my parents to not let me hang out with my friends while they aren't home? - January 12th 2016, 09:31 PM

Is it wrong? No, not on a fundamental level. Is it bizarrely overprotective? Yes, especially considering you are 20. I mean, it'd be a whole other story if you were like 9 or 10, but then they probably shouldn't be leaving you at home alone.

Given that you're 20, I think it is suuuuuper weird that your parents won't let you go out with friends or have friends over if they're not home. Have they ever given you a reason for this? Would it be a different story if you walked to some landmark (park, grocery store...)? I ask that because I wonder if they have reasons to be wary of your friends or your whereabouts and if they just have a problem with your friends being at their house.

Talking to your parents calmly might be a good start. Pointing out that you're an adult might go a long way (or not). It's a difficult thing to be an adult child living at your parents home; on one hand, you don't have to listen to them, as long as your actions are within legal / moral / ethical limits (whatever you abide by), but at the same it is their home and it just seems respectful and reasonable to obey their rules (preaching to the choir - I lived at home for a few months when I was 19, after being on my own for the better part of a year and I was losing my mind. Because of that, you might want to find a way to compromise.

If there is no compromising (or total change of minds) to be had, is there any way that you can move out? If you don't have the financial means to do so, of course, wait, but maybe you can work on getting the financial means to do so. There is loads of cheap housing around - many of my friends pay about $450 a month each for their homes with roommates, the place might be totally scummy or you might have to live with 3-4 others, but if it means you're out and free, then it's some place to start.




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Re: Is it wrong of my parents to not let me hang out with my friends while they aren't home? - January 13th 2016, 01:01 PM

Oh, it's amazing, how can they do that? To say the truth, you can do whatever you want))) you are really an adult) If you love your parents and don't want to hurt them you should explane your position and say that you have the rights to manage your life by yourself)
   
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Re: Is it wrong of my parents to not let me hang out with my friends while they aren't home? - January 13th 2016, 03:54 PM

I think you should definitely talk to your parents, ask them why they are not letting you go out with your friends while they are not at home because there could be a reason. It is strange seeing that you are 20, so you are an adult but it isn't wrong.


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