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Welcome me, I'm new!
trying_to_get_control's Avatar
Name: Alisha aka Summer
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Kansas

Posts: 48
Join Date: May 15th 2009

If you have time, read my story, and give advice please! - May 15th 2009, 11:55 PM

Okay, so I'm just finishing my sophomore year of high school, and so much is changing and happening and the past year I have done a horrible time of trying to make everything better, but it seems to get harder. I know times get harder before they get better, but I wonder if I have the strength to keep it up.

Okay, so it mostly started when I got this friend Stephanie. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming her, although she did kill my self esteem, and I know I had problems with my family before her, but it started getting worse as time went on. Stephanie got me into smoking, she did it before we were friends, and I had always wanted to try, she was my opportunity. I then started drinking every once in a while, and I smoked bud twice. Once, was with out her. An old friend, Coral, at the beginning of mine and steph's friendship, really screwed me over. Got me in trouble with my dad. I was innocent from the stuff she accused me of, at the time. Anyway dad started finding cigerette's in my car. (My mom lives in Hawaii by the way, she comes back and visits sometimes. She just works there, but basically still lives here.) Then he started finding alcohol, every time he did so it was no mine, but I got in trouble. Stephanie was very very rude to me, made me feel utterly and completely useless 90% of the time. I've had a lot of problems with my feelings since then, and it is very hard to keep control of my emotions and feelings. I cry a lot, it's something I can no longer control, she liked to use that as an advantage to make fun of me. I stopped being friends with her, but my other best friend Jenny, remained friends with her. Stephanie got kicked out of her house and started living with Jenny a few months after our fall out, and I had no choice but to give her a chance. So we tried again about a month ago. At first she did okay, she treated me like I was a real person, and not some dog she just used to buy her stuff. (Within the four months or longer we were friends I spent two grand on her stuff and mine. No joke. Possibly more. Cigerettes, every drop of alcohol, food three or four times a day, every activity we attended, she never once paid for me, I had a credit card, and thought she was my best friend. I also put over 20,000 miles on a brand new car, and she laughed in my face and made fun of me behind my back when I told her I wanted to spare my miles and keep my car new as long as I can. Anyway, the past two, possibly even three weeks she has been slowly going back to her old self. Jenny is just starting to see it. And she isn't to happy about it either.
I've been holding it in, she's knows I'm not happy with her though. Which puts her ina bad mood, which makes her treat me worse. And she wrote me a note today saying she is not going to the party tonight because she feels like a friggin third wheel. Are you kidding me? A third wheel? Her and jenny are ALWAYS together, I am the one who has to go home early, and doesn't have classes with either of them, and they lived together for two weeks. And stephanie is the third wheel? No. She's starting to realize that me and Jenny are not giving her the attention she wants, so she is going to fight for it, for the wrong reasons, and the wrong ways.
I do not know what to do about her. Someone help?
Anyway, I through a party this past weekend at my house because no one was home, and my brother's brand new (week old) Texas Longhorn watch, $400, Fossil brand got stolen. I know who it was, this dumb shit kid who steals everything, but I have no proof. The polive obviously have better things to do, for they haven't found anything out yet. Anyway this has cause lots of fighting with my family. I give my self pep talks on my way home, and when I am in the shower, and any alone time I have, to stay in control unless I am alone. To prove that I have control of my body, and my emotions, and my tears. Today was the first good test for it, and I did good. I did not yell, I did not cry, and I did not flip out around my parents. When I went outside to move my car into the garage, I did break down and cry. But I was alone, so I let the tears flow for about two minutes, then I put myself together and walked in my house. Other reasons I break down a lot though is because my friends are, in every way, my main reason I get up in the morning. They are my everything. Maybe I should not put them first, and I know it. That is another thing I am trying to put back right, put family first, and this summer will be a great chance. I am going to Hawaii for five weeks, a perfect time to practice my new life style. But I want to live it up with my friends until I leave. But the worst thing happened. I good family friend just died, and my mom came home. When my mom is home she never lets me hang out with my friends, and I am trying to remain calm just sitting here typing this. I leave in ten days, and my mom is being a bitch and wont let me see my friends.
I also want to get better control of the other aspects in my life. I take showers every other day, because frankly, I just don't have time every night. But I want that to change. I also want to keep a journal, especially when I am in Hawaii. I weight *** lbs. I can't stand it. I know I do not LOOK that fat. I look about ***. But its still the fact that I am that fat, and I have never been ***. At least not since 5th grade. I want this to change. I want to be skinny, but deep down I know I just don't have the self discipline for it. That's what I want to change. I want self discipline, and I am hoping since I have a job waiting for me in Hawaii, that will help toward the cause.

Please, any suggestions, I would love. Thank you greatly.

I love you Jen, and Zach.

Last edited by Strider; May 16th 2009 at 01:20 AM. Reason: Editing out weight figures.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Color Me Chaotic
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Name: Sam
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: AZ

Posts: 770
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Join Date: January 15th 2009

Re: If you have time, read my story, and give advice please! - May 16th 2009, 12:41 AM

Wow, sounds like a lot of stuff has been happening a short period time, I'm sorry.

Both Stephanie and Jenny dont sound like true friends, like friends worth keeping. I think you'd be better off without them if they're going to act like that. $2000, really? Thats a lot of money to spend on people who dont even respect you.

I know its really hard to get motivated to do things, especially to make changes. So many times, we want to change but we're used to the routine of everyday. I think just getting started on the changes you want is going to be the hardest part but it will be easier after that.

I think its great that you want to get in shape. I would just start slow, like simply altering your diet to eating things more healthy, and when you get the urge to snack, do so on things like almonds, pretzels, apples, etc. After you develop those good eating habits, you can start adding something like walking every evening for a set amount of time.

Things all feel like shit right now, but they'll turn around, I promise. Hang in there, honey.

"I'm afraid to make changes, but I'm more afraid not to." <-- a quote I think you'd like

Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.

Music is life. Start living.
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