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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Stormy Rainbow Offline
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need help handling a delicate situation - February 5th 2016, 02:41 AM

My father molested me when I was little. Now he has his own family and another daughter. Well she wants me to skype with her and she is 11. How do I tell her I can't because if I see or hear her dad it will set me off?


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Re: need help handling a delicate situation - February 5th 2016, 06:20 AM

I think you should be as truthful with your sister as possible, but since she is younger, I think you should be careful with how much you tell her and how you word things. Maybe you can tell her that you and your dad don't get along and you don't want to risk seeing him or hearing them while the two of you Skype. You could also say that you and your dad don't have a good relationship and you don't want that to get in the way of your relationship with her. Meaning, you want to have a nice conversation with her, but not when your father is around. If you know of a particular time when your father is out of the house, or can ask your sister about it, maybe you can schedule a time to Skype when he isn't around. Might be worth giving that a try.


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Re: need help handling a delicate situation - February 8th 2016, 07:18 PM

I would suggest telling her that you have bad experiences with her father and would rather not skype as it would upset you. You could suggest texting/messaging instead or perhaps you could meet in person somewhere? I hope it works out for well x
   
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Re: need help handling a delicate situation - February 9th 2016, 03:41 PM

Like Cassado said, I think that there is a way to be truthful with your sister without saying anything that'll ruin her relationship with her dad. Like, saying just enough so that she understands you don't want to see or hear him. Like you can always clearly tell her that if you see/hear your dad, it'll be bad, you'll have to instantly sign off and won't skype with her any more and that she needs to be in a private place where her/your dad isn't. I don't think it's out of line to make it extremely clear that, of course, you'd like to talk to her, but that your dad has to be 100% out of the picture or else it'll affect your relationship with her.
Do you and your sister live in the same community (or close by at least)? Maybe you guys can meet in person instead. You could ask your mom to talk to her mom and have her mom drop her off or something like that.




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Re: need help handling a delicate situation - February 9th 2016, 05:58 PM

this can be closed


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Re: need help handling a delicate situation - February 9th 2016, 07:47 PM

I'm going to go ahead and close this thread at Frankie's request. Feel free to PM me if you would like it reopened.


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