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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Betrayed by Friend - February 21st 2016, 06:49 PM

So in my computer class I made a new friend (let's call her E). Turns out that my new friend was friends with my Bff. So we became close friends but then over time she started to get annoying and rude. Since I'm in middle school at the start of the 2nd semester we switched from computers to pe and me and her got the same pe teacher. I made two other friends and we formed a group called Derp Squad. But the thing is the friend I made in computers has been really annoying. I let her borrow two dollars and she doesn't want to pay me back. She keeps taking my water and drinking from it even though I tell her no. She's really violent and she even said she hated my friend (let's call her C). When ever C trys to talk my other friend (let's call her L) E always interviews. Me and C are tried of this. On Friday when pe ended E came up to me and asked if I could hold her basketball while she tied her shoe and when I got the ball she just ran off. C knocked the ball out of my hand and because I was mad at E I didn't get or take the ball back. In the locker room E kept saying what she did was funny. I told her it wasn't. Also I would bring mint flavored Tic-Tacs and I took four out. One for C, one for L, and two for me, but E came and took two when I didn't tell her she could have one. I'm seriously done with her. Me and C are tired of her behavior. We can't take this any more. Both of us want to strangle her. I told my first friend what happened (let's call her P for her love of Pandas) and since she's overprotected she said she wants to strangle her too. I know this is wrong to say but C and me are just done with her behavior. Any advice?
   
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Re: Betrayed by Friend - February 21st 2016, 07:34 PM

I think you should talk to E about how you're feeling about her behavior. I think it would be easier to do it one-on-one, without bringing your other friends along because then E might feel like you're ganging up on her. I think you should use "I feel" statements so it doesn't feel like you're outright blaming her, if that makes sense. It might help for you to take some notes and make some bullet points on what you want to address.

If this doesn't work, I think you should make an appointment with your guidance counselor so you're able to talk to E (and possibly your other friends) in a safe place because your counselor can act as a mediator.


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Re: Betrayed by Friend - February 23rd 2016, 02:36 AM

Hey there,

I think that talking to E about her behavior is the best thing you can do. She might not realize that her behavior is getting to you all. She might, honestly, feel that she is being silly or funny and until someone tells her that her behavior is getting hard to deal with she will not be able to comprehend why the friendship is going south. If, after talking to her she does not change her behavior then you could end the friendship. Ending a friendship can be really hard to do but at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you.

I like the idea of going to the guidance counselor. I know when I was in 8th grade some of the girls I hung out with got into a really big argument and ended up getting sent to the school psychologist to try and deal with it. It ended up helping them work through their differences and get to a better place in the friendship.

I am wishing you the best of luck.


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Re: Betrayed by Friend - February 23rd 2016, 03:38 AM

I talked to her in pe but she didn't even apologize. If C wasn't there to hold me back I would have slapped E right then and there. She kept trying to talk to me but I just ignored her. Ending the friendship tomorrow and telling the of teacher about the money E owes me.
   
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Re: Betrayed by Friend - February 25th 2016, 09:46 PM

I think that ending the friendship could be in your best interest. If she is unapologetic or does not acknowledge the things you said to her then she just might not care. Since ending the friendship is what you want to do then go for it and don't hold any regrets.

I am uncertain if there is much anyone can do about the money she owes you. I have learned a long time ago not to loan money to people because it can come back and bite me. If you don't get the money back I would use this as a learning experience; next time be a little more wary about lending out money or don't expect it back. I prefer the former.


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Re: Betrayed by Friend - February 27th 2016, 08:31 PM

Omg. When I got to pe I ended the friendship. At the end of pe I let L take a waterfall from my water bottle and E saw. E then asked me if she could have a waterfall too. When I told her no she smacked the bottle out of L's hand and it spilled over L's belongings. Remember how I said that E came up to me once and asked me to hold her ball and then ran when I got it? Well she did the same thing to L. I did the same thing C did when she did that. I smacked the ball out of L's hand. I miss C. She's been absent for the last few days. Anyways I helped dry off some of L's things but her homework was ruined. Also when no one was looking I put the water bottle in E's locker with a note saying 'If you don't stop E I will tell the principal about your behavior. I don't care if we were friends but clearly we're not friends any more. So just stop before I do or say something that I will regret.' If she does one more thing I will slap her. I am just done with her
   
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Re: Betrayed by Friend - February 28th 2016, 12:56 AM

Honestly, the best thing for you to do, is to ignore her and walk away. Don't let her get away with being mean to you. It seems like shes acting out specially after you say no to her. She could be upset that your hanging out with other people when she thinks it should only be you and her.
If she does something again I would go to the principal, cause the way she is treating you is kind of like a bully.
I wish you the best of luck.


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Re: Betrayed by Friend - February 28th 2016, 02:18 AM

Thanks but I doubt she's jealous. After all she was the one that told P that me and her(E) weren't friends any more.
   
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