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My father is either lying to my sister or is lying to me - I'm not sure whom. He is also terrible at handling money. - March 4th 2016, 06:36 AM

Hi all,

So, I'll try to keep this short. I'm on a train and don't have much time to type.

My mother has gone away for a month overseas. To see my father and I through for the month, she left us $1,000 in cash, in an envelope in the house. My sister no longer lives with us, but comes home from time to time.

This money was supposed to be used solely for food. Excessive, I know. Food is also expensive here in Australia, and we could use all of that money in that month period.

My mum left specific instructions for my sister and I not to let dad go crazy with it. He is especially bad at handling his money, and my parents are going through a really tight spot financially and every dollar counts (hence why I have paid for food out of my own money for both my dad and I, instead of using the money left by my mum). They are in debt up to their eyeballs and on a very strict budget.

Without my mum there, I'm unable to control my dad's actions. She was the matriarch and held down the finances. She does everything she can to ensure they don't slip further into debt.

Dad has recently taken a job at a lower pay rate and his contract was not renewed with his previous employer. Essentially, he was forced to leave. The lower paying job (about one sixth what he was getting paid before) means that it has caused a lot of stress on the entire family. My sister and I pitch in where ever we can (my sister is unemployed, but I live comfortably - I have savings, don't have any debt, and get paid well).

So, my mum has been gone for about a week now. She left that money behind and only my sister touched it initially to buy some food for all of us. My sister then went to put the receipts in with the remainder, and found it was gone. She called me today while I was at work and asked me where it was. We both immediately suspected my dad.

I told her to call him and ask. She did and called me back. She told me that she asked where it was, and he said he took it to work with him. All $1,000. My sister didn't understand why. I didn't understand why. I told her I would speak to him after I finished work.

I did. I said my sister had called me and asked where the money was. He said, "oh, okay." I asked if he had it with him. He told me that "I left it at home but moved it to my drawer."

I didn't say anything after that. That was 15 minutes ago.

I'm in a bit of a predicament now. Dad is either lying to me or to my sister. My sister would not lie about this, because she knows more than anyone the toll it is taking on my mum's health, and how much my mum was worried about this exact situation.

The other aspect is that my dad told me yesterday (when we suspect he stashed it somewhere) that he preordered a $100.00 game. My sister and I drew the conclusion that he may have used the money my mum left to do so.

Of course, it's his money... he earned it. It's also my mum's money. They're married afterall.

The choice to use the money is their choice. Why would he lie to one of us, though? He's either scared of what I will say or scared of what my sister will say (he either kept it at home in another place so my sister didn't know where it was and couldn't use any of it - which shows he distrusts her - or suspects that I will be upset or angry at him if I knew he had brought it with him). I don't know what to believe and neither does my sister.

I'm likely going to bring it up with him, but I don't know how without showing my distrust of him and his ability to handle money. Either way, I'm offended that he lied to even one of us - which is why I need to know the truth.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to bring this up?
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Re: My father is either lying to my sister or is lying to me - I'm not sure whom. He is also terrible at handling money. - March 5th 2016, 02:34 AM

I kind of feel like you should just outright tell him that you are confused about what is going on because you heard he had taken it to work and then his story changed. He might get upset with you for bringing this up but $1,000 is a lot of money to blow through in a week.

He might have lied because he spent a good portion of it and doesn't want you or your sister to 1) tell your mom and 2) get upset with him. Usually when people have problems like this they do tend to try and cover it up and there is no clear cut reason as to why other than them possibly being ashamed of what they have done.

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