TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
CrystalJade Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
CrystalJade's Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Washington

Posts: 306
Join Date: May 28th 2010

Make him realize.. - March 11th 2016, 03:08 PM

I'm just about fed up with my husband. We've been married 1 year in June, you haven't read some of my other posts, and have been together since 2011.

I can't stand it though! He does not help me with housework or keeping out place clean. I work 22-30 hours a week, go to school 3 times a week, I have to do my homework, and I do the majority of the housework (cleaning, laundry, everything). I make him fold his own clothes but they sit on the floor forever. He works full time but then plays video games the rest of the time. When I turn into mega bitch he changes for a day but it's the same ol' b.s right after.

I feel like I have a larger workload than he does and he doesn't help me. I can't do everything and still do well in my studies. I love him but I've just about had enough. I don't think he even realizes what he's doing.

How do I make him realize it? My marriage is at risk here.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
alongfortheride Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
alongfortheride's Avatar
 
Age: 20
Gender: Female

Posts: 41
Join Date: May 31st 2015

Re: Make him realize.. - March 11th 2016, 06:58 PM

Hey,
Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about what's been going on but well done for not giving up and persevering.

Part of being married or having a partner is becoming a team with each other. It sounds like you feel like it's not so much a joint effort anymore this, as you said, causes a lot of strain on you and I can imagine it's been an argument starter for a while?

I think part of solving this is communication. If you haven't already, try to get both of you sitting down calmly and explaining it with him rationally without it ending in an argument (it's hard). If you get through to him why not suggest to write down all the jobs that need doing and assign them to each person accordingly. This way there is a plan to follow that he's been part of agreeing with. You could put the table with the jobs that need doing somewhere where he'll be- next to the tv?

Hope everything goes well x


We were born to be
real
not perfect
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Rivière Offline
Par la rivière
I can't get enough
*********
 
Rivière's Avatar
 
Name: Sarah
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Wales, UK.

Posts: 2,283
Join Date: June 7th 2013

Re: Make him realize.. - March 13th 2016, 12:16 AM

If it's one thing I've learnt about being in a relationship with someone is that you're their partner, not their mother and you're certainly not their slave. If you've spent time communicating with him and it's not getting through to him then I think you need to take a different approach to the situation. If talking doesn't work, try something more physical. Remember again, you're his partner. You don't have to do everything for him despite you feeling like you must. If he wants his laundry done, leave him to do his own. If he wants a clean home, leave him to do it. If he wants dinner, leave him to find his own. Don't just stop doing these things for a week or two, show that you're taking a stand and that you're genuinely sick and tired of being his slave, because that to me personally sounds like what you are for him.

If he loves you like you clearly love him, he'd pull his weight and act like the husband he signed up to be and do his part.


Life is for living, not for losing.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Always *'s Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Hogwarts

Posts: 3,186
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: April 12th 2012

Re: Make him realize.. - March 13th 2016, 01:44 PM

I agree ^^ don't put away his dishes or his clothes. If he leaves stuff sitting around, you can always bury his X box in it.
You're not his servant, so obviously he has to do his fair share.
What my boyfriend and I do is that we have a list on our phone that is shared between us (eg. He vacuums and does dishes, I sweep/mop and do laundry) and we're both responsible for picking things up that we took out during the day, like paper, pens, places and glasses, that sort of stuff. That way it's clear who has to do things. Maybe a clearly defined lost with clearly defined expectations will help because then he'll be held accountable to specific tasks




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
make, realize

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.