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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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My social problems hating on me - March 16th 2016, 08:18 PM

I don't understand. I may be jealous of some friends of mine and that can't happen. I have issues.

Okay so this is what's happening: I have a friend that struggles with some personal issues and I'm always there for her. I've been struggling with my self-esteem because I've been hurt so many times. I just gave up trying to express my own opinions and be myself.

The problem is, my friend is having so much fun and excitment with our other friend and I'm sort of the third wheel. At lunch, I saw them walk off together leaving me out so I went to the bathroom to be alone. I didn't feel like people except me for who I am so I just gave up even trying. I feel like everyone hates me and I haven't had fun in such a long time. When I do, it's with my family that supports my way and who encourages me in every way.

I don't know what to do because I feel like a hallucination in someone's mind. I'm not actually here. This other friend seems to hate me and I don't feel like anyone cares. It might just be that I'm so paranoid dealing with social problems and finals happening and track practice. I've been stressed so it might just be that I'm depressed and stressed out from that.

I don't know what to do with this emotional pain. The world seems to move forward without me. I don't exist like I have for years. What is going on with my life. I want to cry so bad but I can't. Tears don't fall. I'm just broken as a shattered piece of glass.

   
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Re: My social problems hating on me - March 18th 2016, 12:00 AM

I don't think there's anything wrong with being jealous of someone, it happens to the best of us. It's only natural to feel that way when someone else has something you want but don't have. Maybe you can talk to the friend you have who has been struggling as well. She might have a deeper understanding and she can offer some support. You said you've given up on trying to express yourself and I think that is making you feel bad. Try to get back into expressing your feelings and thoughts. Be yourself and if people don't like that, then they're not for you and you'll find people who like you for you.

I think sometimes depression can make you feel like no one notices or no one cares. It's easy to think that sometimes, but try to remember that people do care about you. Your friends and family, people at school, and people here care about you. Myself included.

You said you're a little stressed out with school and after school activities. If you feel like you're getting caught up in it and you're overwhelmed, take a step back and let yourself rest for a little bit. Try to take some time out of everyday to do something for yourself to make sure you're taken care of.

I think you should consider talking to your friends about feeling like the third wheel to see if they can give you some reassurance. It can be hard to ask for that sometimes but it might help. You can also consider talking to the school guidance counselor for additional support.


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Re: My social problems hating on me - March 18th 2016, 12:21 AM

Okay thank you for the advice. Here's my response:
First of all, I don't agree with what you said about jealousy. Jealousy is an internal sin that the devil puts into people's minds. Sin is never an okay thing.

Second of all, I can't go to the school counselor because she isn't the right kind of support I want or need. I just need someone to understand where I'm coming from and how I feel. That includes my friends and family and no one else. Sorry.

But thank you for everything else you said. I'll figure it out. Things will get better, I know it but for now I have to keep striving. I have to tell myself that every day so I don't go the wrong direction. It's easy to get caught up in things I can't change but I'll work on what I can change.
   
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Re: My social problems hating on me - March 18th 2016, 05:54 AM

You don't have to be sorry for not agreeing with me. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I'm not offended by you not agreeing with me. A cool thing about TeenHelp is getting to learn about people's different beliefs. That's one of the many things I like about being here.

Since you're wanting your friends and family to understand where you're coming from, the best thing you can do is sit down with them and tell them how you're feeling. I know it's hard, but your friends and family do not know what's going on inside your head. Only you do.

It's definitely easy to struggle with what you can't change. I know I struggle with it a lot but like you said, working on what you can change can help a lot. As can positive self-talk.

Hope things start to improve for you.


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The mountains are calling and I must go.
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-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind

Last edited by cynefin; March 18th 2016 at 06:37 AM.
   
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Re: My social problems hating on me - March 18th 2016, 08:33 PM

Thank you so much.
   
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