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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Always * Offline
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Dealing with rejection - March 18th 2016, 12:48 AM

I modelled a bit with a photographer I met. I really liked her and thought we were becoming friends, but it was always kind of hard to book shoots with her and stuff. After the last shoot, I was like "ok, that was good, progress". But now she was kind of like "you know there are other photographers around here right?" Which I do know, but I don't know any of them and even if I did I can't afford the average photographer because usually it costs like $300 for the average shoot but I give her way less because she only does it for fun. Half the fun of working with her is that I can just get a shoot done for the hell of it without having to justify spending hundreds of dollars on pictures I just want for myself AND I had hoped we'd really be friends.

I'm mostly confused. I don't understand why she seemingly doesn't want to be around me. It's not that I thought we'd be bosum buddies, but I did think we could be on good terms. At the very least, she's getting exposure as a photographer by putting up with me and I am getting affordable quality photos of myself sometimes that make me feel good. I'm just confused.

I know it might sound silly, like who the hell cares if someone I'm not even close to isn't that into me, but the problem is that I have had tons of struggles with making and maintaining friendships. Don't get me wrong, I have a long-term relationship (we live together) and 3 best friends and people generally like me (but there are also a lot of people who seem to think I'm a freak). In high school it was sort of like "what ever" because I'd always been bullied. During university, I'd have friends for about a year then they'd disappear. Again, loads of long-term relationships, but no one close. I have maybe 2 remaining friends from university. Even when I did find a community I felt like a total outsider. I don't know why I can't feel accepted even with people like me. And then there is the fact that it took almost a year to convince someone to give me a job. Again, loads of people seem to like me and those who seem to have great things to say about me, Other people like me cause I taught their kid to skate and I'm a good teacher or because I was nice during this situation or that one. So it's hard to even identify what the issue is. It's stressful and frustrating becasuse I am generally a nice friendly person who is helpful, thoughtful and so on..

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions

Last edited by Always *; March 18th 2016 at 01:04 AM.
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Re: Dealing with rejection - March 18th 2016, 01:22 AM

I think her behavior was a little weird. Like you said, she gets paid and gets exposure as a photographer, and you get pictures to help boost your self-esteem. It's a win-win situation and I don't think she has anything to complain about. Maybe since she's hard to book shoots with, she wasn't sure why you wanted to book a shoot with her and not with one of the other photographers that were around. It's possible she was having an off day. While that doesn't excuse her behavior, it would make sense as to why she said that to you.

I've seen your responses to threads around the site and I can tell you're a nice, thoughtful person. If people can't see that or if they don't want to be friends with you, that's on them. They're missing out on the great person you are. If you continue to go to this photographer, I hope she is kinder in the future.

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Re: Dealing with rejection - March 18th 2016, 04:17 AM


I think that you should talk to her about this. The fact is that you might have interpreted what she said in the wrong way. Like Cassie said, it might be possible that she was unsure as to why you were continuing to book shoots with her when there are other photographers around who would be easier to get in with. I know talking to someone about this will be hard but confronting the problem is the best thing that you can do. Open up to her and see what happens. If it turns out that she isn't interested in being friends or something like that then you can try and move on and find someone who will be interested.

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