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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Stephe Offline
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My friends left me - March 25th 2016, 12:48 AM

Hey, I made a thread like this but I felt it wasn't accurate.

So, I have been friends with most of my friends for over 7 years, some even 10. About a year ago they started giving me the cold shoulder. I feel like the "leader" of the group, who was my friend for 9 years, doesn't like me because I don't give in to what they like. They love soccer, and I prefer to do more personal sports like Cross Country. I don't know if we are splitting because of our differences, but I feel if they were truly friends, they'd still accept me even though I'm different. I get really annoyed because I know I can't change my friends and they are changing for the worst. They act wild and have started to cheat on assignments. I have started to feel depressed because I was the person who introduced them, yet they think they can turn me away. I guess this may be for the better, they have really started to hurt me emotionally. They have started stealing our ball at break and never include me in conversations. I really hate it when people can't make their own decisions and rely on others. We used to be really close, we used to go see movies or sleep over every weekend. The last time I have been to one of their houses was 15 months ago. At lunch I may be the first one eating and they never sit by me, always at a different table. They really hurt me deeply a few days ago, I think they are homophobic. I am gay and happy, but they started yelling "Hey Fag" to each other so they turn around and they laugh. I told one of them I was gay a few years ago and he accept me, but now he turns around and says that horrible word right in front of me! He makes me sick! I do have one friend to whom I can tell this saga that broke my heart. I am not like the normal teenager, I don't really get manipulated and peer pressure doesn't affect me. I never change my opinion due to the general agreement. I think others have experienced this, I hope someone can understand this.

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cynefin Offline

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Re: My friends left me - March 26th 2016, 09:08 PM

I'm sorry to hear about this, you deserve better friends.

I don't think you're separating because of your differences. A lot of friendships have plenty of differences and I look at them as a good thing. If people were too much alike, it would be boring. It seems to me like you and your friends are separating because you're a little more mature than your friends and it's possible that they don't know how to handle that. As great as many friendships are, a lot of them slowly end and I know that is painful but it is all a part of getting older. When one door closes, another one opens. Old friends drift apart so you can make new ones; so you can continue to grow as a person.

Unfortunately, you can't control your friends. You can only control yourself. I think the best thing to focus on right now is yourself. Maybe you can get into some things that you've avoided in the past because of your friends. Look into running, or do some research on how to start or improve your running. Do what makes you happy, regardless of what your friends think. With the way they're acting, you're better off without them.

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