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My friends hate me. I don't wanna be here for it. - April 17th 2016, 10:17 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My friends hate me and it's because I take things too seriously and for some other reasons that I don't even know about. Lately I've had my own struggles with other things so it just adds even more stress and depression to my life.

Lately at school, I've been avoiding them altogether because I don't want to deal with them. I don't want to be here to deal with the pain of rejection and feeling like I'm never accepted for who I am. I hide in the bathroom all lunch so I don't e=have to be in the awkward situation of not knowing what to say because they hate me.

There is only one friend that is kind to me and doesn't judge me. We've been through drama last year and so this year we already decided not to give each other drama. That's why I don't want to bring her into my problems. She probably doesn't want to deal with it either.

I want to die but I know I can't do that so I just hide away so I don't have to be in reality for more pain to deal with. It lets me escape the situation so I don't have to face it. I want to be home schooled now or just move away. I don't want to be there anymore. School these days is just a place of self-loathing and hatred all around.

I'm tired of this. I don't want to be here. I'm done.
   
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Re: My friends hate me. I don't wanna be here for it. - April 18th 2016, 06:52 AM

Hi Cheyenne,

I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time at school. It sounds as though things have been getting gradually worse, which leads me to ask if you've considered talking to your parents or guardians or a school teacher about it. It is neither good nor helpful to your mental wellbeing to be keeping these feelings to yourself and 'hiding away' at school so that you don't have to face them, and it'll likely make things worse in the long run. Your parents and teachers are there to look out for you, and to make sure that you're feeling safe and supported in the school environment. They could then help arrange for a meeting with your school counsellor. Letting them know how you're feeling will be helpful so that they can help look into ways/options to work through this situation with you so that you won't have to continue feeling so miserable at school.

As for your friends, I have to say that friends who hate you aren't really your friends. A friend is someone who should make you feel liked and supported, and someone who strives to help you up and not bring you down. If these people aren't acting like your friends, then you're better off without them.

You've mentioned your one friend who is kind to you and doesn't judge you. Have you considered opening up to her about the way you feel? If she's not one to judge, then I'm sure that she would be more than happy to listen to you, and it will be helpful to get things off your chest. It is helpful to let your feelings out and share them with others, even if you're not looking for advice, or don't believe that they will have advice to offer. Also, I know for a fact that it is easy to assume that our friends don't want to hear about the things that are going on in our heads and that 'they don't want to deal with it' because we worry about being a bother, but trust me, a real friend will want to know, and they will want to listen and be there for you, even if there's nothing they can physically do to change the situation.

Please remember, it helps to let things out. Bottling them will only make you feel worse in the long run, so please feel free to PM me if you would like to chat.


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Re: My friends hate me. I don't wanna be here for it. - April 26th 2016, 06:55 PM

Thank you Lotus Eater.
   
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Re: My friends hate me. I don't wanna be here for it. - April 27th 2016, 01:57 AM

If your friends truly hate you then they aren't your friends. If you are just assuming that because the way certain things they do make you feel then try talking to them about it. I know confronting them about their actions can be hard but it might help you come up with a resolution to the problems.

Also, if you really don't want to keep hanging out with them you could always go out and find some new friends. Maybe you could try joining clubs at your school and see if that helps.

I know avoiding them seems like the best option but it is unlikely to allow you to resolve anything. So, either try and talk to them or see about making new friends. But, don't beat yourself up over this. I am extremely sensitive and I have people that don't entirely understand my sensitive nature.


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Re: My friends hate me. I don't wanna be here for it. - April 27th 2016, 12:45 PM

Thank you. Honestly i dont even care to be their friend anymore. I wont make it a huge deal. Im currently in track and im friends with people who actually care and dont reject me. I feel way better emotionally now when i dont hang around my old friends. Those friendships were just toxic and i dont regret leaving them. Its amazing how much better i feel when i hang around people who dont hurt me.
   
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