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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Sophrosyne Offline
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Relationships - April 24th 2016, 07:31 AM

Okay, some of you, not many but some, may know that I have a crappy relationship with my dad. For some reasons including that, I have also decided to not keep going to his house every second week and instead just stay at my mums all the time. I had a chat with him about it a few days ago, and then a family meeting about it today, and we decided that that was okay and we were all fine with it now. So I no longer have to stay at his house any more. That being said, we also agreed that we would meet up sometimes and have coffee or text each other, or something similar just to keep in contact. I don't really want to do that but I guess I may as well.

A problem is, I agreed to not stay at his house, while my sister decided that she is going to move in with him. Now this was originally going to happen at the end of the year, it is now going to happen in 5 weeks, maybe sooner. So I will now only see her at school in passing and occasionally if we also go on coffee dates together. I've never known life without my sister so it will be hard not seeing her all the time although I do think I will manage. At this point, we also plan on working for the same job service, just different areas anyway, so when we grow up we will still see each other. I think the hardest point at this time anyway is finding time to meet up and still have relationship once she moves out. We both have pretty busy lives so even though we plan on meeting up, it won't be able to happen often.

On sort of that topic of relationships, even though I don't want to see my dad sometimes I will still have to and I don't know how I'm going to survive being with him. Even though it won't be much, and I know it is better to have some contact with him, I still hate the idea of seeing him and talking to him. He was a crappy dad and doesn't even deserve that title, and having to see him still have the title and act like something that he originally chose to run away from sort of disgusts me. Going to be fun finding out how I survive though.

I don't know, I think I just needed to get this out. Basically I have to maintain relationships with people I don't want to, and struggle to find time to maintain a relationship with people I would love to. Interesting.

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Re: Relationships - April 24th 2016, 12:17 PM

Hi there,

I hope I can offer some help with regard to your situation with your sister. At the beginning of this year, my dad and I moved away for his job and my school, while my sister and my mum stayed at my old house. My sister and I are really close, so going from talking every day to seeing each other every few weekends was quite a big change. But surprising, it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. We text a bit and sometimes call each other, but we are both really busy so don't have that much time, but it now sort of feels almost normal to live apart Sometimes obviously I still wish she was here to talk about some things, but to be honest I think it has made us closer as we really enjoy the time we can spend together when we do see each other, and we always save stories and stuff to tell each other when we do meet up.

I totally understand that you're going to find it hard to begin with - I did too! But I I can honestly say it does get much easier and if anything makes for a better relationship. The joys of technology mean you can still call or text her whenever you need too, and vice versa.

Hope this helped in some small way

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Re: Relationships - April 25th 2016, 01:16 AM

One thing that might help is planning a meet up date one or two times a month. That will be something you will be able to look forward to and that doesn't necessarily have to involve going to coffee with your dad.

I know when my brother moved out of the house it was a weird change but we still saw each other from time to time so the transition was made easier.

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Re: Relationships - April 25th 2016, 06:53 PM

You could also arrange to call or skype with your sister every few days, so that it'll be easier to keep in contact with her even if the two of you aren't able to physically meet up as regularly as you would like. I know it's not the same as seeing her in-person, but it'll help maintain your relationship and give you both a time to talk despite how busy you've been.

Another thing that could help in regards to meet ups is to schedule them beforehand. Perhaps two to three weeks in advance so that you can both set aside the time/date and there'll be less of a chance of plans falling through.

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