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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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starlightmage Offline
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was i being passive-agressive? - May 1st 2016, 04:39 PM

I'm just sitting here after an outburst from my grandma wondering what the heck went wrong.

She was in my room without my permission trying to watch my TV, and I told her "I wish you would have asked first." She just blew up after that, saying that she was waiting to ask me, I was in the bathroom too long, etc. She then said "Well keep your f****** TV then!" before I had the chance to say anything else.

Did what I say come off as passive-agressive? If it did, could someone tell me a better way to say it?
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Re: was i being passive-agressive? - May 1st 2016, 05:12 PM

I don't think what you said was passive-aggressive, assuming you said it calmly. It seems like you were both emotional in the moment, I would be annoyed if it happened to me. Maybe try to sit down with her when you're both calm and talk about boundaries and maybe come up with a plan if she wants to ask to watch your tv?

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Re: was i being passive-agressive? - May 1st 2016, 10:07 PM

I think if you didn't intend it to be passive-aggressive it probably wasn't. When you replay these things in your head you often change how you thought you said things.

That seems like quite a random outburst, and if you don't really understand why she said it I would probably assume you caught each other at a bad moment. Have a chat with your grandma and just explain you find it a bit awkward when she takes up your personal space.

Best of luck!

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Re: was i being passive-agressive? - May 2nd 2016, 05:22 AM

I don't think you were passive-aggressive, if you had an even tone of voice. As it's been said, maybe you can have a discussion with your grandmother to clear things up so neither of you leave negative feelings to fester. I know everyone is different, but I noticed that my grandmother slowly became more irritable as she got older. Your grandmother could have been bothered by something else and then took it out on you without meaning to. It's not your fault and I know it's easier said than done, but try not to take it personally.

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