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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xoxtammixox Offline
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I'm hurt and I'm tired of this... - May 17th 2009, 09:59 PM

Last week me and my mother were arguing. She was PMSing at me && she was getting mad whenever I gave her attitude back. She ended up throwing my laptop on the floor and hitting me in the back of the head. She told me that she hated me. (She has been doing that a lot lately.) I had been secretly considering suicide for a couple of weeks so it slipped 'It doesn't matter because I'm going to kill myself anyways!' I had retorted when she told me that she hated me. Then she said it. The woman who I used to look up to said it. She said 'Go ahead. Do it. I don't care!' and then she stormed out of the room. I cut myself on purpose for the first time that day. I didn't know... I didn't understand how this woman that I used to love, that used to love me could say that. I have been aboiding her, for the most part. I've only talked to her when necessary. A good five minutes, at the most, a day. I feel like crying, but I do not want to waste my tears on her. We cannot talk without arguing anymore. I really feel like crying. I don't know what to do. I don't want to forgive her for this. I won't forgive her for this. I was finally letting her into my life again, for the first time since the third grade, but she ruined every chance she had at being my 'mommy' again.
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Strider Offline
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Re: I'm hurt and I'm tired of this... - May 18th 2009, 03:05 AM

Hi Tavia,

I'm really sorry that your mom said those things to you. It sounded like the argument really got out of hand between you two, but that still doesn't excuse what she said. I think you did well by coming here to talk about it, though. We're here for you, so do your best to stay strong.

Remember that sometimes people can say things that they don't mean when they are upset and angry. Your mom was probably feeling really stressed out and emotional and didn't realize the impact of her words. What I really suggest doing is to try to put what she said behind you. It's no use holding on to what she said, no matter how terrible it was. You don't need her approval to be happy with yourself.

Ignoring your mom for now is probably a good idea. Giving both you and your mom a chance to calm down will help the anger die down a little. When she is calm, however, I really think you should talk to her about what she said to her. Let her know exactly how it made you feel and that you are really looking for her support in you right now.

I also think you should talk to a counselor about this. It's tough to do, but they are there to help you. There are guidance counselors at school who are there to talk with students about whatever is going on in their lives, and it's their job to help you through it.

There are a few links that I think would help as well:
Alternatives to self harm, First aid information, and Self harm resources.
They are all located in the Self Harm section of the forum, so if you ever need to refer to them, that's where they are.

There are other ways to let out your emotions without harming yourself. Keep a journal with you that you can scribble in and write in when you feel like self harming. Do whatever you want to the book- rip out the pages, fill them up with pen or pencil, or just write down your thoughts. Don't take your pen off the page until you don't feel like harming anymore. Another suggestion would be to take a walk. Just go out and put yourself out of a position where you could cause harm to yourself. Free up your mind and try thinking of other things.

If you ever need to talk anything through, please feel free to PM me at any time.
Stay strong.


The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
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Shannon Offline
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Re: I'm hurt and I'm tired of this... - May 19th 2009, 04:19 AM

In life, relationships that you have with people are going to break. Unfortunately, those range from friendships to family relationships. The fact is that people are going to screw you over and bail on you in life, and it sucks, but it's inevitable. You're born alone and you die alone, and you listen to me: YOU are the ONLY one who decides if you're strong enough to get through this or not. You have what it takes to make it as long as you decide to. Cutting yourself or killing yourself is pointless; you're angry at other people. Don't hurt other people, becaue they're not worth it, but don't blame yourself, because that's simply misdirected.

Good luck with this and just remember that you're not to blame.
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