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Sick of home - May 8th 2016, 07:52 AM

Does anyone else experience mental abuse (name calling/ shaming) from their family and any advice? mine has gotten so bad to the point where i hate living here and want to do anything to move out. It makes my depression and anxiety worse when everyone in the house makes fun of me and never understands what i go through.
   
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Re: Sick of home - May 8th 2016, 09:41 PM

I do experience that, and used to go through it more often than I do now. Something that might help you is writing how you're feeling. Just yesterday, someone said something to me that I found upsetting, so I went into my room (my safe place), listened to music, and wrote about it.

You can also try to stay out of the house or away from everyone else for as often as you can. You can volunteer, or take walks, spend time outside, or join some clubs so you have an excuse to be out of the house. This will allow you to spend time with non-toxic people and that will be beneficial to you.

You can also try standing up for yourself if you're comfortable doing that. Respect is something that has to be earned, and if they don't respect you, they don't deserve respect from you. I'm not saying to go out of your way and pick arguments, but if something comes up, try defending yourself. A lot of toxic people end up surprised when people defend themselves and the shock of that kind of makes them quiet for a while.

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Re: Sick of home - May 8th 2016, 09:51 PM

I hope you can find the courage to overcome this problem. I know abuse can come in so many forms, and sometime you don't even see it when it's right in front of you.

As much as everyone wants a family who is living and kind, it just doesn't happen that way for some people. And if you are trully seeking a kind and loving place to live, then you should move, so male a plan, and do that. It's not a good thing for you, you know that. Unless your family is willing to work at making this better, then I think it will only get worse.
   
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Re: Sick of home - May 9th 2016, 12:57 AM

I had difficulties at home which were resolved when I moved out in 2014.

However, I don't think that moving out is always the answer. You have to be ready; emotionally and financially. And you have to move into a healthy environment; one that is right for you.

If you are not in a position to live somewhere else at the moment, it is probably a good idea to devise a few coping strategies instead. Cassado mentioned some activities that you might find helpful.

Based on what I learned from my experience, I would suggest confronting them about it. Ask them why they do it and explain how it makes you feel when they do.

If you just leave, you'll be letting them get away with their behaviour. Whilst you might not care about that now, in a few years you may feel bitter about how you were treated and regret not saying something.


Be kind to yourself.
   
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Re: Sick of home - May 9th 2016, 05:59 AM

Thanks! And to cope i do try to get out and do thinfs but it can be difficult because i have social anxiety and have few friends but im going to a community college in the fall so i feel that would be a good escape. I have tryed to talk to then about about it but they deny it and say things like i have never made fun of you when they have i love my family but not when they act like that.
   
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Re: Sick of home - May 10th 2016, 06:41 AM

It's up to you how far you want to go with this. If you want them to realise that they do say hurtful things, you need evidence. Quotes of what was said, and where and when.

You need to be able to say (for example), "When you called me _____ yesterday evening in the living room, it upset me." It's not good enough for them to just deny what they do and for that to be that. If you can back up your claims, it's not so easy for them to act as though you are making it up.

They may not realise what they are doing. They may think that their comments are well-received; that you take them as a joke. But the truth is that you don't and they need to understand that.

Sorry if I seem overly passionate, but I have experience of this and hate the idea of people being bullied in their own homes. It is not acceptable and the fact that you love each other does not excuse their behaviour.

I realise that confronting them might seem overwhelming and I understand if you would rather not say anything. But the reality is that I don't think they are doing your mental health any favours. Their behaviour has probably knocked your self esteem and confidence which, from my experience, only makes the anxiety and the depression worse. I'm not trying to blame them entirely; I realise that you have physical health issues which also affect your mental state. However, if your family helped you to feel good about yourself, it's likely that you wouldn't struggle quite as much.

I noticed in one of your other threads that you are potentially starting counselling, which I think would be great. Feel free to keep us updated.


Be kind to yourself.

Last edited by JazzyJazz; May 10th 2016 at 07:37 AM.
   
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Re: Sick of home - May 11th 2016, 04:26 AM

I will and thanks for the help i agree
   
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Re: Sick of home - May 12th 2016, 02:54 AM

I experienced this for a while and I didn't have the option to move out and so I would just go hide in my room. My bedroom has always been my safe space.

As I got older, I started getting out of the house. I love the book store so I would go there and read books for hours on end. I also used to frequent the library. And, when I had more money I would frequent starbucks and stay there till late at night. None of these things require too much socialization which might help with the social anxiety issue.


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