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Kathlyn Offline
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Want to be close to my bro again. - June 2nd 2016, 08:05 AM

Hey all! I've got an older brother, whom I used to be really close with. But nowadays, he is totally different. But, I cant blame him as he has his own problems too. He had started a business of his own that turned out to be a big mess and now he's under lot of debts. It's after that, that he stopped talking with all of us. He is hardly seen at home and whenever he is, he's usually locked up in his room. How do I get back my old brother? Will he ever be the same? Will I ever be able to be close to him anymore. I've got to know from his friend that he has been consulting a debt consolidation company. http://www.billfixer.com/debt-consolidation/ Do you think once all his debts are cleared, he'll be back to being my old brother.

Far Gone Away.
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Re: Want to be close to my bro again. - June 2nd 2016, 02:44 PM

Hi Kathlyn,

Your brother will never stop being your brother. It's just that he's going through a rough patch and he doesn't really know how to deal with it. He might be ashamed of himself and probably may even dislike himself for not being able to hold up the company the way he expected to. It could also be that he is quite dejected about how his company went into debt. He may not have expected it and that could have caused him to become withdrawn. He probably doesn't want to talk much about it because he could feel that he let you and your parents down and can't face that. He could even feel like he's let himself down too. And dealing with all these things must be taking a lot out of him.

It could be that he wants to talk about it, but can't. It could be that he's trying to make things right again for everyone. I can understand how that could also mean him not interacting with you the way he used to. There are things that you could do for him that could help, maybe?

For example, maybe you could make him something he really likes. Or even buy him something that would cheer him up. His favourite ice cream, or some such? You could also write a letter to him telling him how proud you are of him for dealing with all of this as well as he is, and yet that you still miss him. Let him know that you're still there for him. Maybe you could speak with your parents and organise something nice for him, like maybe a family evening, with a favourite movie, or his favourite meal. I know it must be hard for you to watch your brother go through this. But it will get better.

Encourage him and be understanding with him. Sometimes he may not want to talk. Other times, he might seem like he does, so watch out for that. Maybe you don't have to necessarily talk at all. Maybe just knock on his door and ask if you could sit with him, even if it means in silence, with him ding whatever he wants. He will always be your brother. Sometimes, it may be hard to find him under all that he must be going through. But he's still in there. You can coax him out and you can help him. Do it in a way that only you could, because you're his little sister.

Take care,

~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel

"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."

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