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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Shannon Offline
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I think I'm going to lose her. - May 19th 2009, 03:51 AM

I know I said I was taking a leave, and I still pretty much am, but this one thing is just...urgh, it's stressful.

So, there's this chick, that I dated last summer, and we broke up, and then we were best friends until about a few months ago. I'm stressed about high school next year and losing other friends (and previously some stuff with a guy) and just, my mentality's been bad, and then I just don't like the way she acts, she acts kind of bitchy towards me, and so I haven't been super duper nice to her, obviously. We've mentioned the fact that things are getting bad with us, and I randomely told her she was being a bitch one day, and she talked about me behind my back, and it's all turning into a big mess, but I apologized last weekend. I said I knew it was at least half my fault and that I was sorry for being an asshole so much and that I just wanted to go back to being friends with her. Mind you, this was RIGHT AFTER I found out she had called me a bitch to another friend, and she was saying it was my fault that I've been in a funk for about two months, when I was trying to pull her out of this brutal depression all the flippin time last year.

So, I spent the night at her place on Monday night, and things were...kind of good, but still off, and then she ditched me for this weekend, so...I don't know, I just thought "Wow, do I really need this?", I mean, I don't like the person that she is anymore really, she just puts me down and ditches me, and so, I haven't been talking to her much. She just sent me a text today that said she was sick of my attitude, and that I changed a lot, and that I'm not "fun" anymore, and I'm depressing to be around (it's real nice that she'd rather tell me I'm depressing than actually be worried, or, God FORBID, give a shit that I've been down for two consistent months), and just...God, she's such a bitch. I hate her, I really do, and yet, I just want to hold onto this so hard, because I still love her, too. I don't know. I told her that I wanted to talk to her tomorrow morning before school so we could just be done with the fighting and reach some sort of conclusion, and she agreed.

I just want to be done with her completely, and yet, I want to hang onto this "friendship" of ours...I just don't even know what I'm going to do or what I'm going to say, it's all so mixed up. Any advice would be appreciated.
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star_crossd Offline
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Re: I think I'm going to lose her. - May 19th 2009, 04:17 AM

Hey Shannon. I think its good that you guys are meeting to try and end some of this hostility. And who knows, maybe you two will get it all cleared up and resolve this whole thing. But if it doesn't exactly work out that way, it'd probably be best to just let the friendship go. People change and sometimes its not for the better. But don't let yourself keep getting hurt about it, hon.

Tell us how it goes tomorrow, okay?

Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.

Music is life. Start living.
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Strider Offline
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Re: I think I'm going to lose her. - May 20th 2009, 09:25 PM

Hi Shannon,

You do not need to put up with that from a friend. There are nicer ways to going about saying that things have changed without all the naming calling and talking behind your back. What she is doing is not fair to you at all, and I do think you deserve a better friendship.

Whether or not you want to keep this one is really up to you, but I think she has given you some really good reasons to call it quits. It sounds like you're dealing with a bully more than a friend right now.

Maybe you could try a break between you two and see if things can settle down. You don't need to break contact completely, but I do think you two both need some space. In the meantime, try hanging out with some other people. Have some fun and just be yourself. Don't let anyone put you down.

Good luck and take care.


The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
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Shannon Offline
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Name: Shannon
Gender: Depends on the weather.

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Re: I think I'm going to lose her. - May 21st 2009, 12:05 AM

We decided to take just take a break from eachother for about two and half weeks.

I've talked behind her back, as well, but I told her about it later and apologized. She is often nice, and does random sweet things, but it just seems fake a lot of the time, especially when it's followed by her blowing me off or something. Our only hope, really, is that maybe we've just gotten sick of eachother, and that that'll be fixed after two and a half weeks. So, yeah, at the very least, I've got two and a half weeks to think about this :/
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