TeenHelp - Triggering (Abuse): My friend is being abused by both parents and I dont know what to do.

TeenHelp (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/)

- Friends and Family (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f18-friends-family/)

- - Triggering (Abuse): My friend is being abused by both parents and I dont know what to do. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f18-friends-family/t146898-my-friend-being-abused-both-parents-i-dont-know-what-do/)

My friend is being abused by both parents and I dont know what to do.

Hello, sorry if this is a little hard to understand I havent posted on a forum before. Anyway, I play games and talk with with a female friend over the internet. We have a group of friends that we both talk and play video games with. She lives in Oregon and I am currently in Texas. Just now, over skype, I over heard her mother SCREAMING about someone eating her ice cream. The tone in her voice was absolutely terrifying. She then muted her mic and after about 10-15 minutes I got a text from her saying her father shoved and choked her over ice cream. She told me when she shoved him off of her he hit her quite hard. Her father called her a whore and a bitch and her mother is calling her horrible whilst crying. She is being driven to the point where she feels she needs to just end it all and I am really scared for my friend whom I cant help physically at the moment. Can someone please just give me something I can do to help her right now?

Re: My friend is being abused by both parents and I dont know what to do.

Hey there,

I'm really sorry that you had to watch your friend go through all that. The most immediate thing you can do is be there for her and help support her through this. She can get help, but it is really up to her - if she doesn't want to seek outside help, you can't force her to do so immediately. I'd recommend her calling hotlines that can give her practical advice on her situation (because what the authorities can do depends on what country she lives in, and I'm not sure what the situation is in America). However, it sounds like this has been going on for a while, and the fact that it has been suggests that she may not want to get the police involved.

I hope this helped somewhat and feel free to PM me if you ever need anything!

Kyra

Re: My friend is being abused by both parents and I dont know what to do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eat A Slice (Post 1247621)

Tell her to tell her school counselor everything. If she has any trusted family relatives, she should tell them too.

This abuse only escalates and the police need to know. If she can't get to the police the counselor is the best first step since she HAS to go to school.

Re: My friend is being abused by both parents and I dont know what to do.

I agree with what Kyra has said. I think you should encourage your friend to get help, but I don't think you should tell anyone in authority about her situation unless you think her life is in danger from her parents or herself. Abuse of all kind is difficult to deal with, and it is important to allow someone to get help for themselves when they're ready if that is possible.

In the meantime, you can show her some resources. You can show her some hotlines that she can call to talk to someone about how she's feeling. You can even show her TeenHelp if you want. You can recommend that she finds ways to express her feelings, like through writing or drawing.

Another thing you can do is be there for her. Your presence, even if you're not talking about the abuse, can do a lot of good. You can help distract her, or just even sit there with her. When in doubt, ask her if there's anything you can do that she would find helpful.