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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Cookie.prose17 Offline
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Question What Now? - May 21st 2009, 08:04 PM

I lost my best friends--the friends I thought I would go to prom with, and graduate with. Of these five friendships, one goes back as far as the 6th grade. The one thing that kept me motivated--to do well in school, to fight back depression--was the fact that I still had high school. I had a fresh start. I could go to high school, finally get all A's, and make lifelong friends. And the best part was that I would be going through it with my best friends from middle school. High school was supposed to be perfect, after everything I've been through.

But things happened--my grades plunged, I transferred out of my high school, and then back into my high school, I lost my best friends, and my sense of dignity, and pride, and worst of all--my writing. I have had the worst writer's block ever since things ended between us, and my writing is the one thing that's mine. I'm brilliant at it, and what I write is beautiful, and poignant, and wistful, and bright. But I haven't been able to write anything decent since then.

Of course, they weren't treating me right, and they were leading me on, but I can't seem to let them go...or my cookie-cutter ideal of what high school would be like. None of them felt any remorse for what they did to me (and when they were finally honest with me, and ended it after I went to the trouble of transferring back to their school, they said that I was "too good for them". If that's so, why were they so nasty and horrible to me? I thought that these people cared about me...I kept giving them second chances and the benefit of the doubt and I was being so patient with them, but "too good for them"? That's just how friends are meant to treat each other--and how everyone deserves to be treated...), and they easily moved on with their lives. And yet I still feel guilty because of the way I reacted (I couldn't stop crying about it, and I kept begging them to change their minds, but if I had had other friends to turn to, I'm sure I wouldn't have done either of those things), and regretful that I didn't leave them sooner, or bother to make any other friends. What can I do to finally move on, and leave them behind like the memories that they are? How can I start trusting people again? How can I make some new friends and some new best friends? I just really need to know that my life is going somewhere, and that it doesn't just go downhill from here.

I transferred out of my high school a second time (trust me, if I had been thinking clearly, I probably wouldn't have done that), and for junior year, I'm transferring to yet another high school, in hopes of a fresh start. Of course, my education will be my top priority this time, but what can I do to make friends--even though these kids have known each other since at least freshman year?

I want to see myself move on, with new friends, with a new life, and a bright future ahead of me. But I need help to do that--can anyone, who may or may not have gone through a similar experience and gotten through in one piece, give me some advice?

Please, help.
   
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Re: What Now? - May 22nd 2009, 03:14 AM

Hi there Kaze,

First of all, you are a fantastic writer, so don't let your writer's block get you down! If writing is your passion and you enjoy it so much, then nothing will ever take that away from you. Changes happen. People go their separate ways. But as long as you keep moving forward and do what you love doing, then that is what matters the most. I'm really glad that you are thinking of this as your fresh start, because that's exactly what it is. Don't worry about all the 'what ifs' of going to a new school. Just do your best and be friendly. You wont have any trouble meeting people.

I'm sorry your old friends led you on like they did and hurt you so badly, but try to take solace in the fact that not everyone is like that. The only way to learn to trust people again is to give them an open chance and approach each person with a clean slate. What your old friends did does not affect what other people do. Be on your guard, but make sure you are communicating well with the people you talk to. Sometimes a slip up in communication from either side can cause rifts like this.

If you're worried about making new friends (which is completely normal!), then I suggest you find a club or sports team at your school and do your best to get involved with the school community. If you play an instrument, band is a good option as well. Joining an activity really helps as a push if you don't quite know where to get started.

Another suggestion for your writer's block would be to keep a little notebook handy with you at all times. Jot down anything that inspires you, might inspire you, or what you just find interesting. These can be ideas, quotes, lyrics, pictures- the sky is the limit! Keep it as your book just for your creative ideas. I find that the best way to get rid of writer's block is to write as much as you can.

Take care and good luck!
If you ever want to talk, please PM me at any time
Nat.


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Everyone has a story. What's yours?
   
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Re: What Now? - May 22nd 2009, 03:40 PM

Thank you so much for your advice. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. My writer's block hasn't completely dissipated yet, but after just reading this, I felt inspired enough to map out my next novel. Things don't seem as hopeless as they did before. I have an entire summer ahead of me (yesterday was my last day), and I don't plan on wasting it! I hope that I can make friends with more people as nice and as helpful as you, in the near future.

Thanks Again!,
Emily
   
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