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fallenskies Offline
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being ignored for no reason - May 17th 2017, 11:26 PM

I was in art yesterday when a friend asked me who I liked. Out of nowhere. Just 'Hey, who do you like?' I didn't answer, because we weren't really that close, but she started guessing and her friends started guessing. I'm really bad at hiding my feelings so they've kinda found out and I'm still denying it because I can't trust anyone that easily. I don't really know what's happened since yesterday, but everyone's ignoring me today. I've don't NOTHING wrong. Idk. Even the girl that I was really close to is being cold to me. I really wanna cry, but I can't because they'll just say that I cry too much. I can't help it though. I stop but it still comes. And then 2 seconds later they come up to me and act all nice and friendly and to be fucking honest I really don't know who to trust anymore. I don't know who're my real friends anymore.
Help would be greatly appreciated


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Re: being ignored for no reason - May 18th 2017, 12:03 PM

Hey Olivia,

Sorry you've had a hard time with your friends lately. Would it be worth having a chat with the friend you're really close to in private to try and figure out what's going on? You could send her a message if you'd prefer not to do it face to face, but hopefully she can be really honest with you and let you know why people have been ignoring you a bit. People have a tendency to act as a group rather than individuals at times, so if one person has been upset by something, such as liking the same person or even something entirely unrelated to the initial conversation, the rest of the group may just follow what they're doing. It's obviously not very pleasant for you, but it could be something along those lines. Otherwise, it could just be a misunderstanding. Maybe it was a matter of speaking to them on the wrong day/at the wrong time. They could have been busy or upset about something themselves. So asking one of them may be useful.

I understand what it's like to not know who to trust, but try talking to them first. If it really is something nasty or mean you'll then know that they aren't worth your time, but if not, you'll have done the work to make sure they're still your friends.

Lastly, if you feel like crying, don't ever be ashamed of that. Everyone cries sometimes, including adults who are really tough on the outside. It's completely natural and a very normal thing to do when you're upset. People who judge you for it, have also cried. We all do it. So honestly, don't get too worried about that. Once you have cried, you can then work on smiling again!

I hope this has helped a bit. Good luck with whatever you choose to do but I really hope you and your friends can have a talk and figure something out together. Take care!


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As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Re: being ignored for no reason - May 19th 2017, 02:10 PM

Asking one of your friends about what is going on is a good idea. You could send her a message, write her a note, or talk to her privately; whichever you prefer. If it is one of those things that was already listed, perhaps you and your friends could work through it together.

It is okay to cry. Would it help if you left the room when you got upset, so you could cry freely without worrying about people saying you cry too much? You could excuse yourself to the bathroom or take a walk. You could also consider showing your feelings in front of someone you do trust, like a friend or family member, as that can be healing too.

Crying, though sometimes uncomfortable, is a good way of releasing feelings. You could try other way of releasing your feelings as well. For instance, you could keep a journal or a blog, talk to someone you trust, or write a poem.


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