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I don't know what to do - May 27th 2017, 01:11 PM

I don't know what to do right now. I think I have bipolar but if I tell my parents they will say "no you don't" like everytime I try. They will say " your always happy" when obviously I'm not. I get so depressed sometimes I cut myself to take the pain away. Even if I showed them the cuts they would say I just want attention. They would never take me to somewhere where someone could help me and tell me what's wrong with me. I can't drive so that makes this all worse that I can't even sneak out to go to the doctors!
   
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Re: I don't know what to do - May 27th 2017, 01:45 PM

Hey,

Do you feel like you could try talking to your parents about this again? If they say you aren't struggling because you seem happy, you can let them know that you're not truly happy. You could also consider printing off some information for your parents to learn about mental health. If it's hard to talk to your parents, maybe you can express yourself to them in a note. That way, they can read it and you can get it all out at once as opposed to a back and forth conversation.

If you want to go to see a doctor, maybe you can tell your parents you're feeling sick so they can schedule an appointment. You can ask to see your doctor alone, and then you can discuss your concerns with your mental health.

Are you in school right now? If so, you could consider talking to someone there such as a teacher or a school counselor. A school counselor in particular could sit with you and your parents and that could allow you the opportunity to talk to them about what you're going through.


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Re: I don't know what to do - May 28th 2017, 06:52 AM

Well then, how about convincing someone else, and that someone else can convince your parents.

Actually since the someone else will be tasked with talking with your parents, it does matter a little who they are.

First they need to be someone who understands Bipolar so they will understand you when you tell them. Peers are very good at this; that is, other people who are or have been bipolar or seriously depressed in the past themselves are usually very understanding, as well as family and friends of people who have suffered through this, so there's actually quite a large pool of people out there.

Second, they need to be old enough that they can talk to your parents on an adult level, and mature enough, and perhaps whatever type of person your parents respect and listen to (if such a person exists. Who do your parents look up to? Religious leaders? Medical people? Authority people? Smart people? Elder people?) Someone who has the people skills to interact with your parents, and guide them towards your goals.

Another option is calling one of those help lines. You could start with 2-1-1 (if you're in the United States) and ask what is the phone number to call for "I need someone to talk to, this isn't a crisis, but someone in Mental Health Services and Counseling who can help me with my situation". (Sometimes these are called "warm lines", as different from "hot lines". Whereas you call a "hot line" in a crisis, you call a "warm line" in a not-a-crisis-yet situation.) I've done that a few times. The guy answers with a nicely canned scripted line, "Hello, my name is <name> and I'm a trained counselor. How may I help you today?" And I say, "Hi. My friend...." and I tell him about my friend and ask what I can do about it. You could tell him about your parents and ask what you could do about it. One option is he could offer to put you on a list and in a few days one of their outpatient field people will come visit you. (They'll ask you first. They won't come without asking you first. If you say No then they'll skip that idea and think of something else.)

Another idea is, you actually don't need to convince your parents that you're bipolar you only need to convince them to take you to see a doctor. Then, when you're at the doctor's office, ask to see the doctor privately. Hopefully your parent will agree. Your parent will probably think you want to talk to the doctor about sex, and will sheepishly slip away. Then that's when you can tell the doctor the real reason you are there, is because you are having severe bipolar issues, and you show him your cut marks.

Then you tell the doctor what issues you're having with your parents, and what concerns you have about your parents not understanding what bipolar is, not believing it, whatever your concerns are about your parents, and give him an idea how much luck do you think he is going to have with them, and what approach do you suggest he take with them. Should he try the quickly explain to them what bipolar is and how it is treated and they will understand because they are really smart college graduates, or what sort of parents is he dealing with here? Are they rednecks? Are they super religious fundamentalists who believe all doctors are quacks? Or do they worship doctors as gods and believe anything they say without question? Any very quick "My parents out there are..." bio of your parents that might help the doctor could be helpful.

I sure hope you can get the help. The earlier the better. It can be treated and you'll feel so much better! The more support people you can get on your side the better. Where ever you see someone who may be an ally, make a connection with them, note them as a potential resource.

Best wishes!
   
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