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sweetly_broken Offline
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Name: Jess
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would truly help if u could take the time to read this. - May 24th 2009, 08:36 AM

Hi to all I hope u all are having a great day and continue to have a wonderful day.

Iím in a little bit of a situation and would LOVE feedback.

So here is the situation. My mom found out about my self harm and hasnít taken it well. She is now searching my room, email, phone, computer, and back pack on a daily basis. On top of that I am no longer allowed to use my msn or go on here anymore (mom is out of town). I am no longer allowed to talk to any of my friends but I do when she isnít around. Itís really hard because I need their support now more than ever and I canít talk to them unless Iím at school and even then I donít have much time to really talk to them. Iíve tried talking to her about how I feel and why I chose to do it. I also understand it was a mistake and donít believe this is the right punishment. Can anyone give me some needed advice on what to do?

THANK YOU ALL
   
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Re: would truly help if u could take the time to read this. - May 24th 2009, 12:42 PM

Firstly, where is the sense in not letting you see your friends or anything? It will make you feel more lonely, etc etc.
Just sit her down and have a frank talk. If she refuses to talk then tell her she's being childish then try again. If she still refuses, keep trying. If you really cannot get through to her, just ignore her and go out. You can't do anything more.



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Re: would truly help if u could take the time to read this. - May 24th 2009, 01:07 PM

I think you need to sit and talk to her about what this is doing to you. Your Mom may not understand that isolating you is going to make things worse. I think you need to sit down and tell her everything
good luck!
   
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Re: would truly help if u could take the time to read this. - May 24th 2009, 04:29 PM

Hi Jess,

Im really sorry your mum reacted like this, it was really brave of you to tell her about the self harm in the first place. Unfortunately quite a few parents react in this way to self harm because they just don't understand it. Although it might not seem that way, your mum probably does this because she cares and wants to try and stop you self harming. I understand that it really wasn't the best way to go about that but maybe she doesn't realise. Maybe she needs a bit of time to come around a bit, sometimes parents get used to the idea and then want to help?

I think it might be a good idea to have another chat with your mum, you did really well to talk to her and try and explain things in the first place. Maybe you could explain how much it is upsetting you and that you appreciate she is upset about it but that if she wants to help then this isn't the best way. You could explain what would help, such as being there, talking to you etc. If she doesn't seem to get it or if you don't feel able to do it on your own maybe you could get an Aunty or other relative/friend to help you? You could also talk to somebody at school about it too such as a school nurse/councellor or a teacher or head of year?

I hope this helps
Jen


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